Nurturing Your Male Needs

It is common knowledge that females have certain needs that are very important to their welfare. Most males are aware that females have these needs and do all they can in order to make their women feel nurtured, to a certain degree. This is not to say that men are naturally intuitive, in fact quite the opposite seems to be more of the standard, but when they aren’t supplying their spouse's needs, somehow they are made aware of it. Women have several ways of letting men know when they are not being satisfied. Many of these ways are not always verbal. When males sense something is not quite right they do what they are capable of doing in order to “make momma happy.” When momma is not happy, no one is happy.

However, when it comes to taking care of your masculine needs, very little attention is given. Males do all they can to please and nurture females, but the opposite is not the standard. When it comes to nurturing masculine needs most males are not consciously aware of what their needs may be because rarely is it verbally expressed. It is not that males want to become pampered by females but that they have certain needs that will make them function better. It is similar to how vehicles require regular maintenance in order to function at their best level of performance.

Several years back I read a booklet that spoke about masculine needs and how to nurture them. At the time I was not aware that I needed certain pampering or maintenance in order to function to the best of my ability. After reading this material I got it right away. I realized that when I was properly maintained I functioned better. Many men think that they need to be fulfilled sexually and that would place them at the top of their abilities.

In truth sex pertains to a physical need, but we are more than just physical creatures. We have emotional, spiritual and psychological needs in addition to our physical needs. Although our physical needs are quite important, sex is not a cure-all. It is not even a panacea for our physical needs.

Without getting into copyrighted material I will summarize some of the things this material revealed to me in reference to our masculine needs. Once you become aware of these needs you can personally take charge of being in charge of your own masculinity. You become the gatekeeper in order to make sure you are being properly maintained. Many of these requirements are up to you to carve out pf time and space in order to make sure they are met. Below, I will briefly mention these needs and you can figure out where you stand by way of servicing and maintenance. This was taken from a booklet by John Gray, PhD called, “Twelve Ways for Men to Nurture Their Masculinity.”

One: Men need to spend time with other males competing as a team or as individuals. This helps them to sharpen their personal tools. As boys you learned to play hard against each other. Even though you saw that as play, you learned life skills that help you today in a competitive world. When you learn to operate as a team that helps you in things such as family, business, or other natural groupings where we (males) are involved.

Two: Men need time alone in order to contemplate where they are in life and what they need to do in order to proceed forward. If you do not take this time alone for self-reflection life has a way of smothering you and you won’t be able to see through the fog. Find ways of spending time alone in self-reflection and it will keep you aligned with your purpose, your goals, and what you perceive as your truth. This was referred to as “cave time.”

Three: Males need to find ways of releasing their warrior energies. Males are born with aggressive tendencies. This is why they were the primary candidates for soldiers in war. They could be trained to unleash their warrior-like energies. These energies can be released by, playing games, looking at violent movies, exerting themselves physically through playing hard, and the like.

Four: Men need to regularly exert their muscles in different ways. There are energies that are running through your system that need to be managed properly. Allowing your muscles to flex helps to manage your masculine energies. Doing different things that allow your muscles to flex helps nurture your masculinity.

Five: Push yourself to new higher limits. Not only do you need to push your muscles, you need to push your mind. You need to reach for higher goals. Don’t get too comfortable with the status quo because that makes you age. Learn new things and keep pushing yourself.

Six: Do random acts of kindness. This will keep you spiritually-adjusted. Learn to do things for others. Learn to put the needs of others above your own selfish needs. Even though you need to always protect self, thinking outside of the self helps you to practice your masculine roles and the responsibilities that are expected of you. You are protector and provider. In order to do so you must think outside of just yourself.

Seven: Don’t punish those in your inner circle. Usually you take out your frustrations on the ones who are nearest to you. The ones in your own home tend to catch the brunt of your emotional storms. Find other ways of releasing without punishing the ones in your inner circle.

Eight: Do things that make you feel accomplished and in charge. Just as you would make a “to-do list” for the job or for household chores, make a list of things you do just to satisfy your needs. Perhaps no one does things for you that make you feel good. Not to worry, make your own list and do them for you just as you would do them for others.

Nine: Overcome procrastination. When something needs to be done do it immediately. Don’t put things off until later because that becomes a deadly habit. Make a check-list and do the ones that are tough first. The rest will be so easy that they practically take care of themselves. Become proactive. Do it NOW!

Ten: Don’t allow fear to freeze you. Most of us allow our fears to stop us in our tracks. If you want to do something and sense fear, face it. There is a reason why most people do not accomplish their goals. It is because they allow fear to stop them from acting. Face fear and overcome it. Use it as your motivation.

Eleven: Practice containing your anger. When you sense anger beginning to grow inside you, become conscious of the escalating agitation. Do something to divert or displace the anger. Sense it; give it a name as you would a tropical storm. When you face it you gain the upper hand rather than allowing it to take you out of your mental control.

Twelve: Create a male support group or system. Find other males you can speak to about emotional things or things that you don’t know how to express. A best buddy is good to have but if not, find other males that you can bounce things off. Don’t live in a bubble. Create a male support system.

I am not trying to infringe on copyrighted material but instead passing on something that I thought was extremely beneficial in helping me understand my masculine needs. Google John Gray PhD and learn more of his pointers to aid in your understanding of gender needs and differences. This is my paraphrase of what I learned from that book. I am happy to give credit where credit is due. Again, this is not something that I created.

Yes guys, you have masculine needs. Make sure you are doing something to fulfill those needs just as you are doing things to fill the needs of others.