Saturday, May 29, 2010
“FROM ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO DUST,” WE CAME OUT OF THE DIRT OF THE EARTH AND WE SHALL RETURN TO IT. WE ARE CARBON-BASED BEINGS, MADE OF THE SAME BY-PRODUCT AS DIRT. THERE IS VERY LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ALL CARBON-BASED MATERIALS.
All life on this planet is carbon-based. Carbon forms the backbone of biology for all life on earth. Since we are a by-product of the earth, we require the same natural resources to sustain our mortal lives as all living things of the earth. We especially need oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen that come from a variety of resources. Carbon is able to bond with all these because of its four valence electrons. These are the outermost electrons of an atom, which are important in determining how the atom reacts chemically with other atoms. We literally grow from consuming these natural resources. As long as our flesh is alive we will need these resources. After we depart (die) all of what we became as carbon-based entities will return to that from which it came.
Imagine being born several years back. From the day you were born you started consuming carbon-based resources. At one point your load was very light; as you aged it became heavier. Just say you required only 50 units as a baby and now that you are older you require 100 units, for example. The exact amount we require in order to sustain life is far less than most of us use, especially those of us in America. I do believe we are the largest consumers of the world’s resources and we definitely are not the largest contributors to those resources. If you look at children today all across the nation you will see the effects of gorging off of the planet. There are lots of fat kids (carbon-based units) walking around with “excess, excess, excess” on their frames. It took a lot of carbon-based units to create that excess. In our children we see lots of waste.
If you walk through your home you may notice extra lights on that are not being used. You may turn the air conditioner up very high in order to cool the house down to a chill. You may run your shower several minutes unnecessarily before you actually start using it. Most people over-cook foods beyond what is healthy or necessary. We heat rooms that are not being used by anyone. We waste more natural resources than many countries have to use. Certainly we need to consider reducing our carbon footprints. The amount of excess units we use above and beyond what is necessary is the burden we are placing upon the planet. It has to supply our needs and continually reproduce more for us to glut.
Who thinks of such things? Certainly the earth feels the impact of our gluttony. It is surely suffering from our abuse. Since apparently there are enough resources to sustain our glut for a few generations to come; who cares when the earth starts to break down from our abuse? Very few seem to care about the needs of those who are our future. If generations removed into the future cries out and says, why didn’t our ancestors do a better job at being stewards of this planet, we won’t be there to suffer with them so, who cares? Are we that heartless? Are we that mindless? Do we not give a damn? All indications prove that we are all that heartless, and even worse.
Madam, Sir, would you please consider reducing your carbon footprint on this planet. Generations and generations that are yet to be born cry out for your mercy and your compassion. Do you even care???(((:- >((((
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I don’t want to paint such a dark picture, but if I don’t, no one will feel the urgency to do anything. If we don’t do something to alter the fate of our boys who are filling the mold that has been set before them, there is no good news to spread. The decay of morals and standards of decency were not set by the boys; men in the public eye set it. These are not the poor and infamous men who have the power to paint the picture for Wall Street and our political structure, but very powerful and famous men that fuel the flames of the media. Boys see men acting badly, men with lots of money, fame and power, so guess what signal they are getting. “IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BLING.” Forget what you may have to do to get it, but by all means, GET YOUR BLING! That’s the signal they are receiving!
Whenever a famous person gets caught with their pants down; so to speak; whenever a famous politician gets caught on the wrong side of the law; when the rich and famous decide to quit on their third or fourth marriage, guess what signal is being sent? Guess who is watching? If we are not meticulous with our own acts, deeds, or spoken words, I can guarantee more eyes and ears than you can imagine are watching to see how you behave. If it is good for men in such high places then why shouldn’t boys think it’s good for them?
Somebody needs to push the panic button! Somebody needs to yell "Fire in the hole!" Somebody needs to take charge and do something to change the course of the future of our country, perhaps the future of the world. If we are the shining example, the City that sits high on the hilltop that others may be watching, then we are revealing the wrong picture. Not only is the bathwater cold, but the baby sitting in the spoiled water has become cold, even before they had a chance to turn into something good.
Who can we turn to? Who can save us from ourselves? What can we do to change this picture? The problem seems so insurmountable that any compassionate person feels like it may be a waste of good energy pouring their hearts and souls into a losing battle. But again, if each one will reach out and teach one, the problem is not insurmountable.
If there are almost seven billion of us on the planet this means that more than likely there must be at least four billion or more who are already over the age of manhood. Out of that four billion there must be at least two billion men who are capable of doing something positive. If only two billion men reach out and teach one other boy we would have tackled at least half of the problem. Mathematically the problem is not that difficult but tackling the hearts and minds of people and getting them to actually do something positive is a different story.
Are you personally willing to reach out and take at least one boy under your wings and teach them the ways of the world? If not then you are personally letting the world, and the boy, down. This is your watch. Are you upholding your responsibility? Perhaps you were thinking that others would step in and cover your part. NOT! We really need to have a serious conversation about our boys!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
What would you consider to be vital as a healthy male? Most males may immediately focus upon a steady diet of sex. However, if you happened to be stranded on an island with no female available, would you die from the lack of regular sex? No, you would just become extremely efficient at masturbating. Although we say sex is very high on our list of requirements, that is mostly in our mind and… perhaps it hangs heavily in your groin as seamen is allowed to build up without erupting.
On the other hand males need to establish channels of ventilating certain energies. Most genetically have excess energies that are prompted by the hormone called testosterone. This energy is what makes men capable of doing the hard physical work or play they’re capable of achieving. If there’s no outlet for the release of this energy there may be a violent eruption and someone could be injured. This is not to say that a man couldn’t channel the release of this energy through sex, but sex is not the only way for men to release it. Besides, to have sex that frequently you need a willing partner. On the other hand it could be channeled through vigorous exercise, rough-housing, playing hard, pushing oneself hard mentally and achieving a euphoric high from success, meditating, praying, spending time alone in nature, or just consciously releasing built-up energy into the cosmos and letting it go.
When a male is in a relationship and it feels that the walls are so tightly fitted around him with no obvious release valve he will usually resort to heavy consumption of drugs or alcohol; the pursuit of an extra marital relationship, or it may appear as an unusual dysfunction that the male has no conscious attachment to the action. When energies are stored to the maximum capacity and you try to force more into the capacity than it was built to handle, there will be an explosion. This is the law of natural science. This is not what we wish to happen.
Most females have found interesting ways of channeling their femininity and it is not necessarily through sexual intercourse. In fact it appears that sex may not rate as high on female’s charts as it does males. They love taking hot baths, getting facials, manicures, pedicures, gossiping, reading sexy novels, watching movies or programs that turn them on in interior ways, and a host of other things that a one-night sexual episode may not be able to compete with. What is it that males have for their release of testosterone energies similar to what females have? I can think of many, but first you have to get your mind unstuck on sex before you will even entertain door number two.
Monday, May 24, 2010
I just recently read an article posted by the Mayo Clinic called, “Male depression: Understanding the issues.” Here is the direct link in case you would like to read the complete article for yourself:
This article confirms my personal experience. I have personally sensed this feeling. Rather than proactively doing something to affectively deal with the situation I tried to ignore it, or overcome it mentally by the power of will. Unfortunately my will power was not strong enough to override this ailment so I was left with holding the ball not knowing what to do with it.
Since I pride myself in being a strong individual, admitting that I could not affectively deal with this issue was my first problem. Until I convinced myself to seek outside help I would remain in the dark. On the other hand, the quicker I would reach out to some sort of medical or other clinical help the quicker I would be put on a path of healing.
As typical of most males I tried to analyze my own problems. If I can’t find the answers I might try to wait it out if the suffering is not too unbearable…Only when the suffering doesn’t go away am I forced out of my “pride shell” to see a doctor.
Since I personally have a few friends that I can talk to about my issues usually they will admit that they have faced something similar or know of someone else who has. Just by reaching outside of my own mental zone of safety I was able to start on a path of discovery that led to a source of possible cures for what I might have been facing. Staying behind my own “pride walls” only led to more of the same “nothingness.” Depression hides behind our pride.
Male depression may go undiagnosed for several reasons, according to the Mayo Clinic:
• Reluctance to discuss depression symptoms
• Seeing mental illness as a threat to your masculinity.
• Masking depression symptoms.
• Resisting mental health treatment.
The article went on to list some of the signs and symptoms more likely to occur with male depression:
• Violent or abusive behavior
• Inappropriate rage
• Escapist behavior, such as over-involvement in work of sports
• Risky behavior, such as reckless driving
• Sexual liaisons
• Alcohol or substance abuse
• More frequent thoughts of suicide
“Having such symptoms can make it more difficult to link them to depression, making diagnosis and treatment harder,” according to the Mayo article.
What men need to learn in general is how to reach out for help without going through denial and senseless pride. If you have strange symptoms and see yourself doing things that are not your usual pattern you need to establish a fail-safe mechanism. If you have a best buddy bonded with trust, ask them to assist you.
Make a pack (pre-agreed upon) with a buddy to handle the tough issues for each other whenever they may occur. If you do not have such a friend then that is a project for you to make an effort to achieve. Creating such a bond is one of the most precious assets of life. If you do not have such a person then you are out on a limb without a safe way out of your situation. You are putting yourself up the creek without a paddle. It doesn’t have to be like that!
Guys, this is a new day. We have to start living and pondering life differently. We no longer need to suffer alone in darkness. Having a problem or condition is not necessarily a sign of weakness. Besides, who cares what people think if it means that you need to remain in a holding pattern of suffering. In reality men may fake holding back pain in public, but we are not lovers of pain. The fact of the matter is that we hate it! If you’re suffering, reach out. Find a cure and rid yourself of the problem. Go to the source of the problem; don’t get stuck on the symptoms. You are not the doctor nor qualified to either treat or heal yourself.
In truth male depression goes directly against the nature of most males. It forces them to admit something they never want to admit: it feels like a threat to their masculinity. It forces you to bury the problem even deeper making it harder to cure and it works against your mind where you think you should be able to figure things out. In this case being well is worth more to you than your pride. But, if you insist upon being prideful, how is that working for you?
Friday, May 14, 2010
WHEN A MAN SAYS, "I DO," TO MARRIAGE; HE IS SAYING I DO TO WHAT HE WAS RECEIVING DURING THE COURTING STAGE. IF THINGS CHANGE, I.E. FREQUENCY OF SEX, THEN THAT IS NOT WHAT HE COMMITTED TO UNTIL DEATH DO THEE PART.
When a man engages into a long-term relationship with a female chances are his expectations are much different from his partner's. During the courting stage both parties are trying to impress each other, especially if there seems to be enough chemical attraction.
With males the attraction could be something as simple as sex appeal. It could be something much deeper, but during that early stage of the game it is much too early for him to tell what may be attracting him.
With females he may have a "knight in shinning armor" under his rough exterior, but she intuitively senses that beyond what he knows about himself. In that case she is willing to go to the next level knowing the potential jewel she may have discovered. At that early stage the attraction is very superficial, but both parties are willing to fish a bit deeper to see if this might be the "real thing."
When the male cast his line into the deep waters he is usually trying to see if he can get into the sack with the least amount of resistance. Flowers, dinner and a movie, a stroll on the beach holding hands and gazing into her eyes, all this he is willing to do because he is fishing for his prime catch. If he sees enough potential he may be willing to reveal his sensitive emotional side, as long as there is a decent possibility of getting what he truly wants. Obviously she knows what he really wants so in order to keep him coming she may choose to use her “trump card” if, or when necessary. If she don't have to use the trump card she may decide to keep him hanging as long as he is willing to keep coming back and keep romancing her.
When the woman is fishing deep she is looking for a mate that is reliable, dependable, and one that will protect and defend her above all others. She desperately craves security, that feeling she got from her father, if she had a decent one. Even if she didn't, she created an image of an “ideal man” in her mind; that is the picture she is seeking to paint in her selected mate.
She realizes that the more she gives the man what he wants, the more he is willing to come back until finally they were inseparable; she has him on wiggling her baited hook. She was able to open him up and talk about all sorts of deep things because he was a captive on her baited hook. He was willing to give her exactly what she so dearly wanted and needed. In essence she was willing to give him her precious goods because he opened up and did everything he knew in order to make her feel completely safe and at ease.
What really happened in that engagement? The man was fishing as shallow as possible to get what he desired and the woman was willing to fish as deep as needed in order to get what she so desired. Both parties had two entirely different expectations but at the moment they were willing to settle as long as they were getting what they desired at the time.
After marriage a new dynamic takes place. To a man's way of thinking, he wanted things to remain the same as when he was courting, including the regular passionate sex. In a woman's mind she has caught her fish so there is no need to go out of her way to do things just to please him. In truth the man was shallow in the beginning and the woman was deep from the beginning. Both parties did what they needed to do in order to accomplish what they wanted.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
What’s with this title? We know certain things about Black males, but to address this topic as a syndrome indicates that there may be a pattern or aggregate of symptoms and signs characteristic of a specific condition in reference to Black males. Even though black males come in all shapes, forms, educational backgrounds, economical status, positions of power or privilege; stages of maturity, growth, and development; or even various likenesses and differences, there is still an aggregate of something that is distinctly a black male. This “thing” or persona has all but disappeared from pop culture. At one point it was referred to as Soul; brothers had Soul. I’m not sure if that term is still apropos, or even true?
It is easy to look at the big picture and see a negative connotation as you see the aggregate. There are certainly more negative images we see daily that paint a rather dark overall picture of black males. At the same time we see so many popular and successful Blacks at the forefront of society, namely our first Black President, scores of top level black professionals, professional athletes, gifted entertainers, Black CEOs’, and other very successful black males who are at the very top of their prospective games. Thanks to television shows like the Cosby Show, now we see blacks portraying images of successful people in all walks of life. That was not the situation just a short time ago when blacks were only portrayed in less-than-successful positions.
While there certainly are many males who have done quite well, the majority of our black males do not fit this mold. Most fall under the poverty line. Most are not well-educated. Most are not very successful by society’s standards. The fact is; the job of equalization of our males in America has not even made it to first base yet. We have miles to go before we can claim the dream that Martin Luther King spoke about in his famous speech, “I Have a Dream.”
There is a danger in becoming overly complacent to the point that we no longer push for equality, or fight for what is fair, right and decent. Since I have endeavored to learn how to work the system I have found a few inroads and have overcome many hurdles along the way to claiming my status in the “middle class.” My children are growing up not even knowing or appreciating our battle or what we had to go through just to be in this position. In a sense we literally had to break through walls that blocked us from achieving our God-given rights as human beings. We were denied civil rights, human rights, and the right to live freely and prosper. We fought many battles and overcame many hurdles, but the battle is far from over, even to this day.
I am not advocating violence, civil unrest, revolution, or anything that has to do with chaos. I am not against anyone nor do I wish to take anything away from those who “have.” I simply want an equal chance to gain what is available with the full protection of the law and the government on my side and on the side of all people that were formerly, and still are in many cases, denied an equal chance to succeed.
With Black males overall there has been a strategic policy for too many years to stack the deck against them. Our history books confirm this fact. First it was through bondage, then segregation, then by purposefully stacking the decks against them. When people have been kept in a state of poverty, denial, suppression, shame, guilt, or whatever negative mental state for so long the first thing that must happen is to convince them that they are not any of those negative terms. Those conditions were forced upon them against their will for centuries at a time.
After keeping a people in the worst of conditions and denying them the opportunity to get trained in order to fit into the system, it will take perhaps another century or perhaps even several decades and generations just to eradicate that mind-set before healing is possible.
Blacks who have overcome the many hurdles that kept our people down will need to teach others against the mental conditioning of poverty and lower-class thinking. If you believe you are lower class that is what you are. That is not what our people are; it was the condition that was forced upon them. We can no longer look back and give anyone the button to push that dictates who we are. They (the evil system) took the lid off the jar a while back and did not care what happened to us from that point forward.
Now it’s up to us to come together and become the help, become the assistance, become the helping hand, become our brother’s keeper, and to lift up a people to the water level and above. We have been down far too long. We have had about enough of that syndrome. However, it will not change until and unless we make, and become the change.
As a Black man my fight is not with the current white man. My fight is no longer against the system. My main battle is with the condition that makes me think that I am “less than” or, “not worthy of.” My battle is over the ownership of my mental state and condition. I’m not mad, angry, volatile, or revengeful. The last thing we need now is angry, mad, volatile, revengeful black males stirring up a fit. It’s not even necessary. All we need to do is reverse what was done to us; to become a collective of people like most races and capture the power that we have amongst us.
We could feed every black baby in America if that were our goal. We know how to work hard and to overcome any sort of insurmountable odds necessary. We did it before for this country by force. We can do it again this time with the love for our people. In order to eradicate the final chains of bondage that hold us back today we must break the mental bondage that comes with poverty thinking. It is not who we are, it is what happened to us.
No offense to my white friends, neighbors, and associates. For if they are my true friends they know the truth and love that comes from my heart. They also know the truth that resonates from this written message. We can certainly use all the assistance, support, and love from any race who is willing to step up to the plate and do what is right in order to correct a mile-high stack of wrongs that were done in the past. We must do something about this “Black Male Syndrome,” and it must be done fast.