It is common knowledge that females have certain needs that are very important to their welfare. Most males are aware that females have these needs and do all they can in order to make their women feel nurtured, to a certain degree. This is not to say that men are naturally intuitive, in fact quite the opposite seems to be more of the standard, but when they aren’t supplying their spouse's needs, somehow they are made aware of it. Women have several ways of letting men know when they are not being satisfied. Many of these ways are not always verbal. When males sense something is not quite right they do what they are capable of doing in order to “make momma happy.” When momma is not happy, no one is happy.
However, when it comes to taking care of your masculine needs, very little attention is given. Males do all they can to please and nurture females, but the opposite is not the standard. When it comes to nurturing masculine needs most males are not consciously aware of what their needs may be because rarely is it verbally expressed. It is not that males want to become pampered by females but that they have certain needs that will make them function better. It is similar to how vehicles require regular maintenance in order to function at their best level of performance.
Several years back I read a booklet that spoke about masculine needs and how to nurture them. At the time I was not aware that I needed certain pampering or maintenance in order to function to the best of my ability. After reading this material I got it right away. I realized that when I was properly maintained I functioned better. Many men think that they need to be fulfilled sexually and that would place them at the top of their abilities.
In truth sex pertains to a physical need, but we are more than just physical creatures. We have emotional, spiritual and psychological needs in addition to our physical needs. Although our physical needs are quite important, sex is not a cure-all. It is not even a panacea for our physical needs.
Without getting into copyrighted material I will summarize some of the things this material revealed to me in reference to our masculine needs. Once you become aware of these needs you can personally take charge of being in charge of your own masculinity. You become the gatekeeper in order to make sure you are being properly maintained. Many of these requirements are up to you to carve out pf time and space in order to make sure they are met. Below, I will briefly mention these needs and you can figure out where you stand by way of servicing and maintenance. This was taken from a booklet by John Gray, PhD called, “Twelve Ways for Men to Nurture Their Masculinity.”
One: Men need to spend time with other males competing as a team or as individuals. This helps them to sharpen their personal tools. As boys you learned to play hard against each other. Even though you saw that as play, you learned life skills that help you today in a competitive world. When you learn to operate as a team that helps you in things such as family, business, or other natural groupings where we (males) are involved.
Two: Men need time alone in order to contemplate where they are in life and what they need to do in order to proceed forward. If you do not take this time alone for self-reflection life has a way of smothering you and you won’t be able to see through the fog. Find ways of spending time alone in self-reflection and it will keep you aligned with your purpose, your goals, and what you perceive as your truth. This was referred to as “cave time.”
Three: Males need to find ways of releasing their warrior energies. Males are born with aggressive tendencies. This is why they were the primary candidates for soldiers in war. They could be trained to unleash their warrior-like energies. These energies can be released by, playing games, looking at violent movies, exerting themselves physically through playing hard, and the like.
Four: Men need to regularly exert their muscles in different ways. There are energies that are running through your system that need to be managed properly. Allowing your muscles to flex helps to manage your masculine energies. Doing different things that allow your muscles to flex helps nurture your masculinity.
Five: Push yourself to new higher limits. Not only do you need to push your muscles, you need to push your mind. You need to reach for higher goals. Don’t get too comfortable with the status quo because that makes you age. Learn new things and keep pushing yourself.
Six: Do random acts of kindness. This will keep you spiritually-adjusted. Learn to do things for others. Learn to put the needs of others above your own selfish needs. Even though you need to always protect self, thinking outside of the self helps you to practice your masculine roles and the responsibilities that are expected of you. You are protector and provider. In order to do so you must think outside of just yourself.
Seven: Don’t punish those in your inner circle. Usually you take out your frustrations on the ones who are nearest to you. The ones in your own home tend to catch the brunt of your emotional storms. Find other ways of releasing without punishing the ones in your inner circle.
Eight: Do things that make you feel accomplished and in charge. Just as you would make a “to-do list” for the job or for household chores, make a list of things you do just to satisfy your needs. Perhaps no one does things for you that make you feel good. Not to worry, make your own list and do them for you just as you would do them for others.
Nine: Overcome procrastination. When something needs to be done do it immediately. Don’t put things off until later because that becomes a deadly habit. Make a check-list and do the ones that are tough first. The rest will be so easy that they practically take care of themselves. Become proactive. Do it NOW!
Ten: Don’t allow fear to freeze you. Most of us allow our fears to stop us in our tracks. If you want to do something and sense fear, face it. There is a reason why most people do not accomplish their goals. It is because they allow fear to stop them from acting. Face fear and overcome it. Use it as your motivation.
Eleven: Practice containing your anger. When you sense anger beginning to grow inside you, become conscious of the escalating agitation. Do something to divert or displace the anger. Sense it; give it a name as you would a tropical storm. When you face it you gain the upper hand rather than allowing it to take you out of your mental control.
Twelve: Create a male support group or system. Find other males you can speak to about emotional things or things that you don’t know how to express. A best buddy is good to have but if not, find other males that you can bounce things off. Don’t live in a bubble. Create a male support system.
I am not trying to infringe on copyrighted material but instead passing on something that I thought was extremely beneficial in helping me understand my masculine needs. Google John Gray PhD and learn more of his pointers to aid in your understanding of gender needs and differences. This is my paraphrase of what I learned from that book. I am happy to give credit where credit is due. Again, this is not something that I created.
Yes guys, you have masculine needs. Make sure you are doing something to fulfill those needs just as you are doing things to fill the needs of others.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Parenting Issues
One of the major responsibilities for most males is the role of parenting. For most of them this responsibility does not come easy. Males in general are not formally taught how to be good parents. Most learn from watching others fill this role such as our father, relatives, or other male role models that happened to be in their focus of attention. Because of this lack of adequate parental education most have their share of failures when it comes to being fathers.
Parenting can be a very tough role to fill. Like most other adult roles it requires on the job training. We do the best we can with the few skills we have. Unfortunately most of us don’t have good reliable resources to turn to when we have questions regarding how to effectively parent our children. Most don’t even have reliable resources to turn to in order to learn about marital issues in general, which include dealing with your spouse in addition to the children, the in-laws, aging parents, and a host of things that come with matrimony.
If you only had one issue to handle such as being a great dad perhaps you could buckle down and tackle that chore with personal pride and do an adequate job of what you set out to achieve. If life were that simple then more of us would be much more successful. Unfortunately we do not get to tell life when or how to dish us out our responsibilities. They do not come just one at a time wrapped in a neat package. On the contrary they usually come in bundles. While you are learning how to become a decent parent you have to also learn how to be a decent husband at the same time. You have to learn how to get along with in-laws, how to deal with employment issues, and a multitude of other issues at the same time. In fact, when it rains, it pours!
When you open the doors of problems to deal with they seem to flock together. Most young married couples don’t have the necessary maturity to deal with that much stress under intense pressure so many times they fold under fire. The marriage crumbles. Yet, you have to still be a parent to your children for life. How do you separate all the anger and venom from a failed marriage so you can still perform your job and responsibility as a parent? No one ever said it would be easy. When you thought you were falling in love with your potential mate you never anticipated having so many things to deal with at once, all requiring your immediate attention.
I’m not trying to paint a dark picture, but before you make the decision to become a parent you need to think through the big picture. Being married in and of itself can be trying and complicated. Learning how to deal with in-laws can have its challenges. Dealing jointly with finances, employment issues, career issues, and just coming together as a team with others is extremely challenging. Wouldn’t it be prudent to work slowly into all these tentacles before you bring children into the world when you will be required to master being the parent in addition to all the other issues?
Being a parent is one of your most important roles as a male, if you decide to become one. Since it is such a precious responsibility you should think carefully before you allow the heat of the moment to create a child. Although you may never be fully ready for the challenges that a young family offers, you can plan ahead and talk over such things with your spouse in order to have a planned family rather than one that you are dealing with blindly. For those who choose to bring children into the world with no desire to become a fully-active parent, shame on you. That is a cruel thing to do to a child, who deserves a fair chance to compete in such a complicated world.
If you choose to get married and start a family, make sure you think this thing through. Don’t just allow regularly and readily available sex to dominate your reason for getting married or for having children. It is much more complicated that just calling yourself a married person. There is much to do, much to learn, and much to consider, especially before you bring children into the world. If you get married while you are young, in your teens or early twenties, don’t rush children into the package. Learn about each other and about the complications of being married before you take the next logical step of bringing children into the picture. Once you bring them in it is too late to undo the lifelong obligation of parenting.
These are things that males need to think through before just jumping into the sack. It is not just for the pleasure of sex. If you want just sex do something to insure that you do not accidentally bring a child into the world unplanned and perhaps even unwanted! Don’t be that irresponsible with the life of a child. Don’t take the role of parenting lightly. It requires much more than you may think while only looking at the picture from the outside. It is a tough responsibility, but it can be a very rewarding one. All I am saying is to think it through wisely before you decide to become a parent. Be prepared for the challenges and step up to the plate to do the right things when the issues come up. Being a parent is one of the toughest roles you could have as a male, but also one of the most rewarding when it is done right.
Greg Middleton is the founder of Real Men Seminars LLC, an organization dedicated to helping men become better men.
Parenting can be a very tough role to fill. Like most other adult roles it requires on the job training. We do the best we can with the few skills we have. Unfortunately most of us don’t have good reliable resources to turn to when we have questions regarding how to effectively parent our children. Most don’t even have reliable resources to turn to in order to learn about marital issues in general, which include dealing with your spouse in addition to the children, the in-laws, aging parents, and a host of things that come with matrimony.
If you only had one issue to handle such as being a great dad perhaps you could buckle down and tackle that chore with personal pride and do an adequate job of what you set out to achieve. If life were that simple then more of us would be much more successful. Unfortunately we do not get to tell life when or how to dish us out our responsibilities. They do not come just one at a time wrapped in a neat package. On the contrary they usually come in bundles. While you are learning how to become a decent parent you have to also learn how to be a decent husband at the same time. You have to learn how to get along with in-laws, how to deal with employment issues, and a multitude of other issues at the same time. In fact, when it rains, it pours!
When you open the doors of problems to deal with they seem to flock together. Most young married couples don’t have the necessary maturity to deal with that much stress under intense pressure so many times they fold under fire. The marriage crumbles. Yet, you have to still be a parent to your children for life. How do you separate all the anger and venom from a failed marriage so you can still perform your job and responsibility as a parent? No one ever said it would be easy. When you thought you were falling in love with your potential mate you never anticipated having so many things to deal with at once, all requiring your immediate attention.
I’m not trying to paint a dark picture, but before you make the decision to become a parent you need to think through the big picture. Being married in and of itself can be trying and complicated. Learning how to deal with in-laws can have its challenges. Dealing jointly with finances, employment issues, career issues, and just coming together as a team with others is extremely challenging. Wouldn’t it be prudent to work slowly into all these tentacles before you bring children into the world when you will be required to master being the parent in addition to all the other issues?
Being a parent is one of your most important roles as a male, if you decide to become one. Since it is such a precious responsibility you should think carefully before you allow the heat of the moment to create a child. Although you may never be fully ready for the challenges that a young family offers, you can plan ahead and talk over such things with your spouse in order to have a planned family rather than one that you are dealing with blindly. For those who choose to bring children into the world with no desire to become a fully-active parent, shame on you. That is a cruel thing to do to a child, who deserves a fair chance to compete in such a complicated world.
If you choose to get married and start a family, make sure you think this thing through. Don’t just allow regularly and readily available sex to dominate your reason for getting married or for having children. It is much more complicated that just calling yourself a married person. There is much to do, much to learn, and much to consider, especially before you bring children into the world. If you get married while you are young, in your teens or early twenties, don’t rush children into the package. Learn about each other and about the complications of being married before you take the next logical step of bringing children into the picture. Once you bring them in it is too late to undo the lifelong obligation of parenting.
These are things that males need to think through before just jumping into the sack. It is not just for the pleasure of sex. If you want just sex do something to insure that you do not accidentally bring a child into the world unplanned and perhaps even unwanted! Don’t be that irresponsible with the life of a child. Don’t take the role of parenting lightly. It requires much more than you may think while only looking at the picture from the outside. It is a tough responsibility, but it can be a very rewarding one. All I am saying is to think it through wisely before you decide to become a parent. Be prepared for the challenges and step up to the plate to do the right things when the issues come up. Being a parent is one of the toughest roles you could have as a male, but also one of the most rewarding when it is done right.
Greg Middleton is the founder of Real Men Seminars LLC, an organization dedicated to helping men become better men.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
THE RACE CARD
ALTHOUGH THIS SUBJECT IS NOT SPECIFIC TO JUST MALES, IT IS TO ALL PEOPLE. BOTH MALES AND FEMALES NEED TO FIND WAYS TO GET BEYOND THINGS SUCH AS THIS IN ORDER TO BECOME A HEALTHY SOCIETY.
Sparks of fire ignite from time to time instigated by a racial issue . Albeit a remark made by a public figure such as a politician, or an abuse of authority made by someone in a leadership position, such as a police officer, it doesn’t take much of a spark to ignite a fire when it comes to racial matters. The reason this happens is because just beneath the surface of society there is a huge undercurrent of sores that have never been properly dealt with. People haven’t been able to safely vent their concerns related to racial matters. Consequently these sores hover all around us just out of public view. They're like a powder keg waiting to explode. During times when certain issues are brought to our attention they normally trigger sparks that ignite the fuse of these deep emotional scars.
Without a doubt we have made great strides toward racial justice, but the pit was, and still is so deep that we need to find ways of analyzing the gravity of the issues before we can methodically work toward curing them. This problem will not fade away overnight. It will not die unless we bring it to the forefront and deal with it. Waiting on the people who are tainted by bigotry to die, alone will not solve the problem. Like the ocean, even though the surface of the problem may appear rather calm, there are always deep hidden undercurrents below the surface. Just ignoring the problem is rarely the best solution to solving it.
As a nearly sixty one year old African American Male born in the South, I’m a witness to the reality of racial matters, including discrimination, bigotry, separation, injustices in the law and law-keepers, and the like. One would think that I would be an angry Black Man, but that certainly is not the case. Like MLK and many others like him, I believe in finding peaceful means of dealing with the racial issues rather than violent ones. Even though both methods have proven to be remotely successful to a degree, ultimately you cannot achieve true peace by using chaos. It’s like fighting fire with fire.
The laws of nature are very specific. The law of Karma (cause and effect) mandates that each cause bring about a corresponding effect. What you dish out is what returns to the source from which it originated. Evil begets evil and peace begets peace. Using fire to put out a fire is not wise. Using the same destructive energy that perpetuated racism and bigotry is not the way to cure it. We need to counteract a specific energy with its polar opposite in order to extinguish it.
Since we cannot see into the invisible realm where spiritual channels such as energies exist, it is easy to assume that they are not being enforced. Our minds want to see the smoking gun and know a bullet was just fired. In the spiritual universe where universal laws prevail much that happens is unseen. We only see the results of the laws but rarely are we conscious of the actual law, as they are being met.
With issues such as racial matters much of the factors that control the output are unseen. This makes it difficult to trace the smoking gun. Many social rifts that control society are so subtle that you may not consciously trace them as they are happening, but you do see their effects. With racial bigotry we will have to go deeper into the source in order to affect a cure. Where there is hate we need to apply love as the remedy rather than more hate. Sweeping such issues as racial matters under the rug is definitely not the most effective measure of dealing with it.
I would personally love to see a day when we could openly discuss things such as race without sparking fires. If people make their minds up that they want to find a cure then such a mutual goal would dictate and resonate in the hearts and minds of people. On the other hand, if they come to the table with a chip on their shoulder sparks will ignite. From those sparks fires will break out. Negative energies only bring forth more of its kind. When the hearts and minds of people are controlled by love and the desire to improve and/or solve the problems, most of the work would have already been completed even before people gathered.
As a free soul in the universe I would like to offer my hand with the race card in it to anyone who would like to see racial bigotry eradicated. Even though certain situations and circumstances of the past may say otherwise, I am only interested in a particular present that will manifest a predictable future. I am no longer motivated by hate, fear, self-gratification, selfish ambitions, or by forces of evil. I genuinely want to see a world that is motivated by love rather than hate. If I start by eradicating hate from my heart, I will become loveable rather than hate-able. The reasons why we are in this position are no longer important to me. In fact, they are the chains that keep me from reaching my ultimate goal, which is to love. I wish to love my fellow men and to be loved by them. Perhaps this may be too lofty a goal to set, but I must reach for it.
Will you join me?
I just dealt the race card; will anyone come and play cards with me?
Sparks of fire ignite from time to time instigated by a racial issue . Albeit a remark made by a public figure such as a politician, or an abuse of authority made by someone in a leadership position, such as a police officer, it doesn’t take much of a spark to ignite a fire when it comes to racial matters. The reason this happens is because just beneath the surface of society there is a huge undercurrent of sores that have never been properly dealt with. People haven’t been able to safely vent their concerns related to racial matters. Consequently these sores hover all around us just out of public view. They're like a powder keg waiting to explode. During times when certain issues are brought to our attention they normally trigger sparks that ignite the fuse of these deep emotional scars.
Without a doubt we have made great strides toward racial justice, but the pit was, and still is so deep that we need to find ways of analyzing the gravity of the issues before we can methodically work toward curing them. This problem will not fade away overnight. It will not die unless we bring it to the forefront and deal with it. Waiting on the people who are tainted by bigotry to die, alone will not solve the problem. Like the ocean, even though the surface of the problem may appear rather calm, there are always deep hidden undercurrents below the surface. Just ignoring the problem is rarely the best solution to solving it.
As a nearly sixty one year old African American Male born in the South, I’m a witness to the reality of racial matters, including discrimination, bigotry, separation, injustices in the law and law-keepers, and the like. One would think that I would be an angry Black Man, but that certainly is not the case. Like MLK and many others like him, I believe in finding peaceful means of dealing with the racial issues rather than violent ones. Even though both methods have proven to be remotely successful to a degree, ultimately you cannot achieve true peace by using chaos. It’s like fighting fire with fire.
The laws of nature are very specific. The law of Karma (cause and effect) mandates that each cause bring about a corresponding effect. What you dish out is what returns to the source from which it originated. Evil begets evil and peace begets peace. Using fire to put out a fire is not wise. Using the same destructive energy that perpetuated racism and bigotry is not the way to cure it. We need to counteract a specific energy with its polar opposite in order to extinguish it.
Since we cannot see into the invisible realm where spiritual channels such as energies exist, it is easy to assume that they are not being enforced. Our minds want to see the smoking gun and know a bullet was just fired. In the spiritual universe where universal laws prevail much that happens is unseen. We only see the results of the laws but rarely are we conscious of the actual law, as they are being met.
With issues such as racial matters much of the factors that control the output are unseen. This makes it difficult to trace the smoking gun. Many social rifts that control society are so subtle that you may not consciously trace them as they are happening, but you do see their effects. With racial bigotry we will have to go deeper into the source in order to affect a cure. Where there is hate we need to apply love as the remedy rather than more hate. Sweeping such issues as racial matters under the rug is definitely not the most effective measure of dealing with it.
I would personally love to see a day when we could openly discuss things such as race without sparking fires. If people make their minds up that they want to find a cure then such a mutual goal would dictate and resonate in the hearts and minds of people. On the other hand, if they come to the table with a chip on their shoulder sparks will ignite. From those sparks fires will break out. Negative energies only bring forth more of its kind. When the hearts and minds of people are controlled by love and the desire to improve and/or solve the problems, most of the work would have already been completed even before people gathered.
As a free soul in the universe I would like to offer my hand with the race card in it to anyone who would like to see racial bigotry eradicated. Even though certain situations and circumstances of the past may say otherwise, I am only interested in a particular present that will manifest a predictable future. I am no longer motivated by hate, fear, self-gratification, selfish ambitions, or by forces of evil. I genuinely want to see a world that is motivated by love rather than hate. If I start by eradicating hate from my heart, I will become loveable rather than hate-able. The reasons why we are in this position are no longer important to me. In fact, they are the chains that keep me from reaching my ultimate goal, which is to love. I wish to love my fellow men and to be loved by them. Perhaps this may be too lofty a goal to set, but I must reach for it.
Will you join me?
I just dealt the race card; will anyone come and play cards with me?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Reducing Your Carbon Footprint
This post is a slight deviation from my male-only issues format because it cover us all. Nevertheless I thought I would share this essay with everyone.
“FROM ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO DUST,” WE CAME OUT OF THE DIRT OF THE EARTH AND WE SHALL RETURN TO IT. WE ARE CARBON-BASED BEINGS, MADE OF THE SAME BY-PRODUCT AS DIRT. THERE IS VERY LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ALL CARBON-BASED MATERIALS.
All life on this planet is carbon-based. Carbon forms the backbone of biology for all life on earth. Since we are a by-product of the earth, we require the same natural resources to sustain our mortal lives as all living things of the earth. We especially need oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen that come from a variety of resources. Carbon is able to bond with all these because of its four valence electrons. These are the outermost electrons of an atom, which are important in determining how the atom reacts chemically with other atoms. We literally grow from consuming these natural resources. As long as our flesh is alive we will need these resources. After we depart (die) all of what we became as carbon-based entities will return to that from which it came.
Imagine being born several years back. From the day you were born you started consuming carbon-based resources. At one point your load was very light; as you aged it became heavier. Just say you required only 50 units as a baby and now that you are older you require 100 units, for example. The exact amount we require in order to sustain life is far less than most of us use, especially those of us in America. I do believe we are the largest consumers of the world’s resources and we definitely are not the largest contributors to those resources. If you look at children today all across the nation you will see the effects of gorging off of the planet. There are lots of fat kids (carbon-based units) walking around with “excess, excess, excess” on their frames. It took a lot of carbon-based units to create that excess. In our children we see lots of waste.
If you walk through your home you may notice extra lights on that are not being used. You may turn the air conditioner up very high in order to cool the house down to a chill. You may run your shower several minutes unnecessarily before you actually start using it. Most people over-cook foods beyond what is healthy or necessary. We heat rooms that are not being used by anyone. We waste more natural resources than many countries have to use. Certainly we need to consider reducing our carbon footprints. The amount of excess units we use above and beyond what is necessary is the burden we are placing upon the planet. It has to supply our needs and continually reproduce more for us to glut.
Who thinks of such things? Certainly the earth feels the impact of our gluttony. It is surely suffering from our abuse. Since apparently there are enough resources to sustain our glut for a few generations to come; who cares when the earth starts to break down from our abuse? Very few seem to care about the needs of those who are our future. If generations removed into the future cries out and says, why didn’t our ancestors do a better job at being stewards of this planet, we won’t be there to suffer with them so, who cares? Are we that heartless? Are we that mindless? Do we not give a damn? All indications prove that we are all that heartless, and even worse.
Madam, Sir, would you please consider reducing your carbon footprint on this planet. Generations and generations that are yet to be born cry out for your mercy and your compassion. Do you even care???(((:- >((((
“FROM ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO DUST,” WE CAME OUT OF THE DIRT OF THE EARTH AND WE SHALL RETURN TO IT. WE ARE CARBON-BASED BEINGS, MADE OF THE SAME BY-PRODUCT AS DIRT. THERE IS VERY LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ALL CARBON-BASED MATERIALS.
All life on this planet is carbon-based. Carbon forms the backbone of biology for all life on earth. Since we are a by-product of the earth, we require the same natural resources to sustain our mortal lives as all living things of the earth. We especially need oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen that come from a variety of resources. Carbon is able to bond with all these because of its four valence electrons. These are the outermost electrons of an atom, which are important in determining how the atom reacts chemically with other atoms. We literally grow from consuming these natural resources. As long as our flesh is alive we will need these resources. After we depart (die) all of what we became as carbon-based entities will return to that from which it came.
Imagine being born several years back. From the day you were born you started consuming carbon-based resources. At one point your load was very light; as you aged it became heavier. Just say you required only 50 units as a baby and now that you are older you require 100 units, for example. The exact amount we require in order to sustain life is far less than most of us use, especially those of us in America. I do believe we are the largest consumers of the world’s resources and we definitely are not the largest contributors to those resources. If you look at children today all across the nation you will see the effects of gorging off of the planet. There are lots of fat kids (carbon-based units) walking around with “excess, excess, excess” on their frames. It took a lot of carbon-based units to create that excess. In our children we see lots of waste.
If you walk through your home you may notice extra lights on that are not being used. You may turn the air conditioner up very high in order to cool the house down to a chill. You may run your shower several minutes unnecessarily before you actually start using it. Most people over-cook foods beyond what is healthy or necessary. We heat rooms that are not being used by anyone. We waste more natural resources than many countries have to use. Certainly we need to consider reducing our carbon footprints. The amount of excess units we use above and beyond what is necessary is the burden we are placing upon the planet. It has to supply our needs and continually reproduce more for us to glut.
Who thinks of such things? Certainly the earth feels the impact of our gluttony. It is surely suffering from our abuse. Since apparently there are enough resources to sustain our glut for a few generations to come; who cares when the earth starts to break down from our abuse? Very few seem to care about the needs of those who are our future. If generations removed into the future cries out and says, why didn’t our ancestors do a better job at being stewards of this planet, we won’t be there to suffer with them so, who cares? Are we that heartless? Are we that mindless? Do we not give a damn? All indications prove that we are all that heartless, and even worse.
Madam, Sir, would you please consider reducing your carbon footprint on this planet. Generations and generations that are yet to be born cry out for your mercy and your compassion. Do you even care???(((:- >((((
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Let's Talk about our Boys
In addressing male issues we shouldn’t ignore the subject of dealing with our boys. In fact, the boys are the future of this world. As they suffer the world will show the effects. As they thrive the world will prosper. For many of us, time on the clock is running out, but their clocks are just beginning to unwind. Unfortunately too much energy is spent on adults who are so set in their ways and who insist upon not bending or changing. Our prison systems are growing larger and larger, overflowing with men who do not have an agenda of becoming helpful, productive members of society. If we spend too much of our available funds on the adult males, we are essentially kissing the future goodbye.
I don’t want to paint such a dark picture, but if I don’t, no one will feel the urgency to do anything. If we don’t do something to alter the fate of our boys who are filling the mold that has been set before them, there is no good news to spread. The decay of morals and standards of decency were not set by the boys; men in the public eye set it. These are not the poor and infamous men who have the power to paint the picture for Wall Street and our political structure, but very powerful and famous men that fuel the flames of the media. Boys see men acting badly, men with lots of money, fame and power, so guess what signal they are getting. “IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BLING.” Forget what you may have to do to get it, but by all means, GET YOUR BLING! That’s the signal they are receiving!
Whenever a famous person gets caught with their pants down; so to speak; whenever a famous politician gets caught on the wrong side of the law; when the rich and famous decide to quit on their third or fourth marriage, guess what signal is being sent? Guess who is watching? If we are not meticulous with our own acts, deeds, or spoken words, I can guarantee more eyes and ears than you can imagine are watching to see how you behave. If it is good for men in such high places then why shouldn’t boys think it’s good for them?
Somebody needs to push the panic button! Somebody needs to yell "Fire in the hole!" Somebody needs to take charge and do something to change the course of the future of our country, perhaps the future of the world. If we are the shining example, the City that sits high on the hilltop that others may be watching, then we are revealing the wrong picture. Not only is the bathwater cold, but the baby sitting in the spoiled water has become cold, even before they had a chance to turn into something good.
Who can we turn to? Who can save us from ourselves? What can we do to change this picture? The problem seems so insurmountable that any compassionate person feels like it may be a waste of good energy pouring their hearts and souls into a losing battle. But again, if each one will reach out and teach one, the problem is not insurmountable.
If there are almost seven billion of us on the planet this means that more than likely there must be at least four billion or more who are already over the age of manhood. Out of that four billion there must be at least two billion men who are capable of doing something positive. If only two billion men reach out and teach one other boy we would have tackled at least half of the problem. Mathematically the problem is not that difficult but tackling the hearts and minds of people and getting them to actually do something positive is a different story.
Are you personally willing to reach out and take at least one boy under your wings and teach them the ways of the world? If not then you are personally letting the world, and the boy, down. This is your watch. Are you upholding your responsibility? Perhaps you were thinking that others would step in and cover your part. NOT! We really need to have a serious conversation about our boys!
I don’t want to paint such a dark picture, but if I don’t, no one will feel the urgency to do anything. If we don’t do something to alter the fate of our boys who are filling the mold that has been set before them, there is no good news to spread. The decay of morals and standards of decency were not set by the boys; men in the public eye set it. These are not the poor and infamous men who have the power to paint the picture for Wall Street and our political structure, but very powerful and famous men that fuel the flames of the media. Boys see men acting badly, men with lots of money, fame and power, so guess what signal they are getting. “IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BLING.” Forget what you may have to do to get it, but by all means, GET YOUR BLING! That’s the signal they are receiving!
Whenever a famous person gets caught with their pants down; so to speak; whenever a famous politician gets caught on the wrong side of the law; when the rich and famous decide to quit on their third or fourth marriage, guess what signal is being sent? Guess who is watching? If we are not meticulous with our own acts, deeds, or spoken words, I can guarantee more eyes and ears than you can imagine are watching to see how you behave. If it is good for men in such high places then why shouldn’t boys think it’s good for them?
Somebody needs to push the panic button! Somebody needs to yell "Fire in the hole!" Somebody needs to take charge and do something to change the course of the future of our country, perhaps the future of the world. If we are the shining example, the City that sits high on the hilltop that others may be watching, then we are revealing the wrong picture. Not only is the bathwater cold, but the baby sitting in the spoiled water has become cold, even before they had a chance to turn into something good.
Who can we turn to? Who can save us from ourselves? What can we do to change this picture? The problem seems so insurmountable that any compassionate person feels like it may be a waste of good energy pouring their hearts and souls into a losing battle. But again, if each one will reach out and teach one, the problem is not insurmountable.
If there are almost seven billion of us on the planet this means that more than likely there must be at least four billion or more who are already over the age of manhood. Out of that four billion there must be at least two billion men who are capable of doing something positive. If only two billion men reach out and teach one other boy we would have tackled at least half of the problem. Mathematically the problem is not that difficult but tackling the hearts and minds of people and getting them to actually do something positive is a different story.
Are you personally willing to reach out and take at least one boy under your wings and teach them the ways of the world? If not then you are personally letting the world, and the boy, down. This is your watch. Are you upholding your responsibility? Perhaps you were thinking that others would step in and cover your part. NOT! We really need to have a serious conversation about our boys!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Recharging Your Masculinity
Fellows this comes under the category of understanding your unique males needs. There are certain things most males need in order to thrive and optimize their net worth. Think of it as you would plants needing the right mixture of water, sunlight and other nutritional substances in order to be as healthy as possible. If plants are malnourished they look unhealthy. The leaves may wither and the color may appear less than vibrant. When living organisms aren’t given what they require they’ll show signs of malnourishment. Likewise when living males aren’t given what they require they will likewise experience malnourishment. The symptoms may reveal themselves in a number of odd ways.
What would you consider to be vital as a healthy male? Most males may immediately focus upon a steady diet of sex. However, if you happened to be stranded on an island with no female available, would you die from the lack of regular sex? No, you would just become extremely efficient at masturbating. Although we say sex is very high on our list of requirements, that is mostly in our mind and… perhaps it hangs heavily in your groin as seamen is allowed to build up without erupting.
On the other hand males need to establish channels of ventilating certain energies. Most genetically have excess energies that are prompted by the hormone called testosterone. This energy is what makes men capable of doing the hard physical work or play they’re capable of achieving. If there’s no outlet for the release of this energy there may be a violent eruption and someone could be injured. This is not to say that a man couldn’t channel the release of this energy through sex, but sex is not the only way for men to release it. Besides, to have sex that frequently you need a willing partner. On the other hand it could be channeled through vigorous exercise, rough-housing, playing hard, pushing oneself hard mentally and achieving a euphoric high from success, meditating, praying, spending time alone in nature, or just consciously releasing built-up energy into the cosmos and letting it go.
When a male is in a relationship and it feels that the walls are so tightly fitted around him with no obvious release valve he will usually resort to heavy consumption of drugs or alcohol; the pursuit of an extra marital relationship, or it may appear as an unusual dysfunction that the male has no conscious attachment to the action. When energies are stored to the maximum capacity and you try to force more into the capacity than it was built to handle, there will be an explosion. This is the law of natural science. This is not what we wish to happen.
Most females have found interesting ways of channeling their femininity and it is not necessarily through sexual intercourse. In fact it appears that sex may not rate as high on female’s charts as it does males. They love taking hot baths, getting facials, manicures, pedicures, gossiping, reading sexy novels, watching movies or programs that turn them on in interior ways, and a host of other things that a one-night sexual episode may not be able to compete with. What is it that males have for their release of testosterone energies similar to what females have? I can think of many, but first you have to get your mind unstuck on sex before you will even entertain door number two.
What would you consider to be vital as a healthy male? Most males may immediately focus upon a steady diet of sex. However, if you happened to be stranded on an island with no female available, would you die from the lack of regular sex? No, you would just become extremely efficient at masturbating. Although we say sex is very high on our list of requirements, that is mostly in our mind and… perhaps it hangs heavily in your groin as seamen is allowed to build up without erupting.
On the other hand males need to establish channels of ventilating certain energies. Most genetically have excess energies that are prompted by the hormone called testosterone. This energy is what makes men capable of doing the hard physical work or play they’re capable of achieving. If there’s no outlet for the release of this energy there may be a violent eruption and someone could be injured. This is not to say that a man couldn’t channel the release of this energy through sex, but sex is not the only way for men to release it. Besides, to have sex that frequently you need a willing partner. On the other hand it could be channeled through vigorous exercise, rough-housing, playing hard, pushing oneself hard mentally and achieving a euphoric high from success, meditating, praying, spending time alone in nature, or just consciously releasing built-up energy into the cosmos and letting it go.
When a male is in a relationship and it feels that the walls are so tightly fitted around him with no obvious release valve he will usually resort to heavy consumption of drugs or alcohol; the pursuit of an extra marital relationship, or it may appear as an unusual dysfunction that the male has no conscious attachment to the action. When energies are stored to the maximum capacity and you try to force more into the capacity than it was built to handle, there will be an explosion. This is the law of natural science. This is not what we wish to happen.
Most females have found interesting ways of channeling their femininity and it is not necessarily through sexual intercourse. In fact it appears that sex may not rate as high on female’s charts as it does males. They love taking hot baths, getting facials, manicures, pedicures, gossiping, reading sexy novels, watching movies or programs that turn them on in interior ways, and a host of other things that a one-night sexual episode may not be able to compete with. What is it that males have for their release of testosterone energies similar to what females have? I can think of many, but first you have to get your mind unstuck on sex before you will even entertain door number two.
Monday, May 24, 2010
UNDERSTANDING MALE DEPRESSION
SINCE MOST MALES RARELY ADMIT OPENLY WHEN THEY HAVE PROBLEMS IT IS EASY FOR A SYMPTOM SUCH AS DEPRESSION TO GO UNRECORDED AS AN ISSUE THAT MEN DEAL WITH. TYPICALLY MEN DO NOT REACH OUT FOR HELP TO EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS. THEY DON’T EVEN REACH OUT TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY SO REACHING OUT TO A STRANGER IS VIRTUALLY UNIMAGINED.
I just recently read an article posted by the Mayo Clinic called, “Male depression: Understanding the issues.” Here is the direct link in case you would like to read the complete article for yourself:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/male-depression/MC00041
This article confirms my personal experience. I have personally sensed this feeling. Rather than proactively doing something to affectively deal with the situation I tried to ignore it, or overcome it mentally by the power of will. Unfortunately my will power was not strong enough to override this ailment so I was left with holding the ball not knowing what to do with it.
Since I pride myself in being a strong individual, admitting that I could not affectively deal with this issue was my first problem. Until I convinced myself to seek outside help I would remain in the dark. On the other hand, the quicker I would reach out to some sort of medical or other clinical help the quicker I would be put on a path of healing.
As typical of most males I tried to analyze my own problems. If I can’t find the answers I might try to wait it out if the suffering is not too unbearable…Only when the suffering doesn’t go away am I forced out of my “pride shell” to see a doctor.
Since I personally have a few friends that I can talk to about my issues usually they will admit that they have faced something similar or know of someone else who has. Just by reaching outside of my own mental zone of safety I was able to start on a path of discovery that led to a source of possible cures for what I might have been facing. Staying behind my own “pride walls” only led to more of the same “nothingness.” Depression hides behind our pride.
Male depression may go undiagnosed for several reasons, according to the Mayo Clinic:
• Reluctance to discuss depression symptoms
• Seeing mental illness as a threat to your masculinity.
• Masking depression symptoms.
• Resisting mental health treatment.
The article went on to list some of the signs and symptoms more likely to occur with male depression:
• Violent or abusive behavior
• Inappropriate rage
• Escapist behavior, such as over-involvement in work of sports
• Risky behavior, such as reckless driving
• Sexual liaisons
• Alcohol or substance abuse
• More frequent thoughts of suicide
“Having such symptoms can make it more difficult to link them to depression, making diagnosis and treatment harder,” according to the Mayo article.
What men need to learn in general is how to reach out for help without going through denial and senseless pride. If you have strange symptoms and see yourself doing things that are not your usual pattern you need to establish a fail-safe mechanism. If you have a best buddy bonded with trust, ask them to assist you.
Make a pack (pre-agreed upon) with a buddy to handle the tough issues for each other whenever they may occur. If you do not have such a friend then that is a project for you to make an effort to achieve. Creating such a bond is one of the most precious assets of life. If you do not have such a person then you are out on a limb without a safe way out of your situation. You are putting yourself up the creek without a paddle. It doesn’t have to be like that!
Guys, this is a new day. We have to start living and pondering life differently. We no longer need to suffer alone in darkness. Having a problem or condition is not necessarily a sign of weakness. Besides, who cares what people think if it means that you need to remain in a holding pattern of suffering. In reality men may fake holding back pain in public, but we are not lovers of pain. The fact of the matter is that we hate it! If you’re suffering, reach out. Find a cure and rid yourself of the problem. Go to the source of the problem; don’t get stuck on the symptoms. You are not the doctor nor qualified to either treat or heal yourself.
In truth male depression goes directly against the nature of most males. It forces them to admit something they never want to admit: it feels like a threat to their masculinity. It forces you to bury the problem even deeper making it harder to cure and it works against your mind where you think you should be able to figure things out. In this case being well is worth more to you than your pride. But, if you insist upon being prideful, how is that working for you?
I just recently read an article posted by the Mayo Clinic called, “Male depression: Understanding the issues.” Here is the direct link in case you would like to read the complete article for yourself:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/male-depression/MC00041
This article confirms my personal experience. I have personally sensed this feeling. Rather than proactively doing something to affectively deal with the situation I tried to ignore it, or overcome it mentally by the power of will. Unfortunately my will power was not strong enough to override this ailment so I was left with holding the ball not knowing what to do with it.
Since I pride myself in being a strong individual, admitting that I could not affectively deal with this issue was my first problem. Until I convinced myself to seek outside help I would remain in the dark. On the other hand, the quicker I would reach out to some sort of medical or other clinical help the quicker I would be put on a path of healing.
As typical of most males I tried to analyze my own problems. If I can’t find the answers I might try to wait it out if the suffering is not too unbearable…Only when the suffering doesn’t go away am I forced out of my “pride shell” to see a doctor.
Since I personally have a few friends that I can talk to about my issues usually they will admit that they have faced something similar or know of someone else who has. Just by reaching outside of my own mental zone of safety I was able to start on a path of discovery that led to a source of possible cures for what I might have been facing. Staying behind my own “pride walls” only led to more of the same “nothingness.” Depression hides behind our pride.
Male depression may go undiagnosed for several reasons, according to the Mayo Clinic:
• Reluctance to discuss depression symptoms
• Seeing mental illness as a threat to your masculinity.
• Masking depression symptoms.
• Resisting mental health treatment.
The article went on to list some of the signs and symptoms more likely to occur with male depression:
• Violent or abusive behavior
• Inappropriate rage
• Escapist behavior, such as over-involvement in work of sports
• Risky behavior, such as reckless driving
• Sexual liaisons
• Alcohol or substance abuse
• More frequent thoughts of suicide
“Having such symptoms can make it more difficult to link them to depression, making diagnosis and treatment harder,” according to the Mayo article.
What men need to learn in general is how to reach out for help without going through denial and senseless pride. If you have strange symptoms and see yourself doing things that are not your usual pattern you need to establish a fail-safe mechanism. If you have a best buddy bonded with trust, ask them to assist you.
Make a pack (pre-agreed upon) with a buddy to handle the tough issues for each other whenever they may occur. If you do not have such a friend then that is a project for you to make an effort to achieve. Creating such a bond is one of the most precious assets of life. If you do not have such a person then you are out on a limb without a safe way out of your situation. You are putting yourself up the creek without a paddle. It doesn’t have to be like that!
Guys, this is a new day. We have to start living and pondering life differently. We no longer need to suffer alone in darkness. Having a problem or condition is not necessarily a sign of weakness. Besides, who cares what people think if it means that you need to remain in a holding pattern of suffering. In reality men may fake holding back pain in public, but we are not lovers of pain. The fact of the matter is that we hate it! If you’re suffering, reach out. Find a cure and rid yourself of the problem. Go to the source of the problem; don’t get stuck on the symptoms. You are not the doctor nor qualified to either treat or heal yourself.
In truth male depression goes directly against the nature of most males. It forces them to admit something they never want to admit: it feels like a threat to their masculinity. It forces you to bury the problem even deeper making it harder to cure and it works against your mind where you think you should be able to figure things out. In this case being well is worth more to you than your pride. But, if you insist upon being prideful, how is that working for you?
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