The Big Picture

The bottom line is we are singularly culpable for ultimately what happens to us. Even though we may believe that either God or government will protect us from the woes of this world, if we don’t do something proactively to dictate our path there are other forces that will be more than happy to do so for you.

As an example if you don’t do anything to stop gravity from doing its thing, something will be caught in its force. If you don’t want an object to fall or be moved by the force of gravity you simply need to do something to secure the object against what gravity does automatically.

There are many things in life that happens. For instance if you do not pay your rent chances are you will be kicked out of your dwelling. Neither God nor government will usually keep that from happening.

Mind you I am not getting into religious philosophy or ideology regarding faith verses works, but merely addressing the reality that most of us face in our day-to-day lives. No matter if you are a person of faith or not, you still have to face the circumstances and/or situations that are presented to you. How you deal with them is usually based upon how you were taught or otherwise trained to deal with such matters.

What is the big picture?

As an example let us look at life as a huge fish bowl. Everyone you see and everything you know to exist is in this huge fishbowl. Not matter how hard you try or how desperately you would like to see things otherwise you cannot change what already exist before you. You are, and everything else is, in the fish bowl of life.

We might like or unlike it, agree or disagree with it, or have opinions about what we perceive it to be, but the one thing we cannot change or control is what IS already. This is in essence the big picture. It IS what it IS. You simply have to deal with what IS. On the other hand acknowledging and dealing with the isness of things is the best way to change them.

Just as I have my thoughts, ideology, philosophy, beliefs, behaviors, likes or dislikes, I also realize that others equally have such things that they consider just as important to them as I consider mine. It is with a spirit of willingness to allow others to be themselves just as much as I wish to be who and what I am that makes it all manageable.

A willingness to work with someone, to try to understand their viewpoint, or just lend an ear to listen to what others consider important to them is where a field of opportunity can be accessed. This does not mean that you should agree with others, but that you are willing to respect them as they decide to represent themselves, even if it opposes everything that you stand for.

When ones sees an opportunity to take the high road they should take advantage of what is exposed otherwise it is just another missed opportunity to achieve the greater good.

If you were to notice a weakness in me and weren’t afraid to share what you perceived with me, that might have been a possible opportunity for me to grow should that criticism or perception prove to be substantiated. But if you did not share it with me it would be my possible loss.

Since we are all in this fishbowl of life, ala “the big picture,” learning how to get along with others can be a key in developing opportunities to negotiate or otherwise come to an agreement of sorts, even if it is merely an agreement to respectfully disagree with each other. Taking the high road on matters make the entire fishbowl better.

This spirit of willingness is often overlooked when people with very firm stances refuses to even listen to the other side. Even countries and governments find it hard to open windows of opportunities to find safe ground to agree to disagree with each other. It is usually their way or no way…what does that possibly gain?

When anyone totally disrespects another without due recourse or an attempt to at least try to understand another’s right to be themselves that simply says that one party thinks they have the right to be or do what the other party does not have the same right to do or be.

In reality only the Maker or One that is responsible for the creation of the fish bowl has the right or ability to totally change what is in the fishbowl. The rest of us are mere players just as are the many different fish that swim in this huge ocean of life.

For those of you that wish to disrespect the humanity of others, I only say to you, “Do unto them as you would want them to do unto you.” If you wouldn’t want someone to treat you in a certain way, then do not treat anyone in a manner of which you would not want to be treated yourself.

Once we learn to at least give each other human respect and human decency perhaps we may learn to gain more positive ground in this fishbowl… in this ocean of life. That is how you learn to deal with the big picture. You have to be able to see it before you can deal with it.

The State of the People

When you look across this great red, white and blue nation of ours there isn’t just one thing that you are seeing, but a multitude of things. Looking at the people of America you aren’t seeing just one face, but a multitude of faces of all descriptions. As you judge at the state of people you’re not judging by one set of issues, but by a multitude of issues from people with completely diverse situations and circumstances.

It appears that we’re looking for general cures to the problems that Americans are facing. If the “fixers” are only working on the issues of their constituents then more than likely they won’t be addressing the problems of a diverse nation. Somehow the “fixers” will need to find a way to see the people as they are and not how they categorize us.

You can’t make all the people happy all the time. You can’t solve all the problems plaguing the various sects of people with a single brushstroke. You must pick a set of problems and fix them one at a time until you methodically go through the entire list. By achieving this the people will see results coming down the assembly line.

The major national problem we’re facing is joblessness. Various groups of Americans are suffering, some more than others. For example the least educated statistically have fewer chances of finding jobs than those with better job training skills.

The segments of our population with the least education proportionately include more Black and Brown faces. Looking even further you will find a correlation between the cities and towns with the highest unemployment rates and those without higher education. The potential solutions need to address both the root of the problems and where they are most saturated?

Understanding the lack of education to be part of the problem we need to come up programs that hire the unemployed to teach those who need employment. If high-tech jobs are most available then we need to hire trained technicians to train those uneducated in technology. This would attack the problems with their solutions.

The billions of dollars we spend protecting the world from itself in foreign nations could be spent hiring our citizens to train the uneducated and unskilled in this nation. In this manner we would be putting our unemployed back to work while training to get work.

We also need to invest in rebuilding our infrastructure. Our roadways, bridges, underground pipelines and gas pipes are out of date and corroded. The money we’re spending on wars can be spent on rebuilding and saving this nation.

The war budget alone could hire hundreds of thousands of citizens. Steps such as this need to be done as part of a long-range strategy where we are investing into the future of this nation for many generations to come.

We need to concentrate on moving this country forward. We can no longer be the caretakers of the world as this nation sinks into destruction and doom. In order for us to be of any assistance for anyone we must first be in a position to do so. In other words we must be a strong nation before we are able to help other weak nations.

The state of the people is not good but the state of those entrusted to lead us is just as bad. We need to look at rebuilding the system that is in place. What we’re currently doing no longer works. If we keep doing what we did in order to get here we will only dig deeper into the hole we lie.

Our elected officials need to stop pointing the finger of blame at each other, but instead start look at the root causes of our problems, unless of course their finger-pointing is itself part of the problem. Unless they learn to work together in a bipartisan spirit we will continue to spiral downward in the League of Nations.

Again, the state of the people is not good, but the cures to the issues we face are not insurmountable. We only need those in positions of leadership to look at the real problems and issues and stop pointing fingers at each other.

Entitlements - I am entitled

The prevailing thought in America, if not in the entire world, is “I am right and you are wrong.” “I am being inequitably treated and you are not taking care of me.” “They are the problem and the place of which to hang the blame.” “In essence it is about ‘me’ and ‘they’ are the problem, with everything!”

Here is the "real" truth. Most of us are part of the problem yet only a few are offering real solutions. Most of us want things to work in our favor relative to our gains over whatever others may want or so desperately need. Realistically far too few would put the needs of others above their personal needs and desires. These are normal human responses.

Until we feel the need to go outside our selfish ambitions we will not be overly willing to address the needs of others. Until we accept the fact that if we are not being the solution we are essentially someone’s problem. Most people do not think in these terms. This is what is called the sense of entitlement: You deserve it in spite of anything or reason.

In the field of politics this sense of entitlement has grown far past what is offered to those whom may be suffering, regardless of the reasons why. We have grown into a “me-generation.” We see others with things that we would like to have so we want them for ourselves and feel quite frankly, entitled to have them.

The bottom line is that not all the people will ever have all the things they want or need. Not all are even worthy or earned the right to have things just because they want them. At a point this has to be accepted as a fact of life. In order that one might adjust this feeling of entitlement to a feeling of “can do,” they must be willing to “take the ball and run with it.”

If you want something bad enough don’t wait on a handout. Instead do all you can in order to make that desire happen by the energies you are willing to exert. Rather than waiting and blaming others use your available energies to push your own cart forward.

You become the horse that is pulling your cart rather than waiting on a horse to appear out of nowhere and pull your cart. The chance of this gift-horse coming out of nowhere and working on your behalf is very slim.

If you want to be in control over your fate then take on the personal responsibility. Do the work and reap your own results. Once you do so then you know who is to blame when things are not going well. You also know who to fire or replace if things are not going well. When you are the boss is when true entitlement comes into play. You earn it!

Yes you can blame the President, your political leaders, your mom and dad, your school teachers, your lack of education or opportunity; or you can step up to the plate and take personal responsibility whereby you know who is in charge. It’s your choice!

EVER MADE A MISTAKE AND KNEW IT RIGHT AWAY?

How do you handle it when even you knew that you made an obvious mistake? If you were man enough you would step up to the plate and take full responsibility. That may be easy to do in theory, but it would depend upon the mistake and who may know about it.

If you had an affair, even if you knew it was a bad mistake, perhaps you wouldn’t be as forthcoming with your spouse about taking responsibility for your error in judgment. You would hope that incident would somehow get swept under the rug of secrecy.

If you had too much to drink and was the designated driver for the evening perhaps your pride would need to take a back seat to the safety of the people who would be taking a huge risk by riding with you while driving intoxicated.

What if you and your mate had a disagreement about something and it ended up that you were dead wrong and she was right? Would you step up to the plate and admit that you were wrong? That would be the most decent thing to do.

What if you made an investment in something that turned out to be a scam and you lost a substantial amount of money that could have greatly assisted the family, would you step up to the plate and take the responsibility?

Even though your pride seems to be very important to you there are times when integrity, honor, and the well-being of others should count for substantially more. This has a lot to do with the kind of person you are from the core of your being.

If you were a deceitful person from your core you would do deceitful things and hope to get away with your wrongful deeds. If honesty means nothing to you then that is why you would cheat on the one you love and hope to get away with it.

If the well-being of your family is worth taking wild risks at their expense then you don’t really care as much about them as you do about your personal ambitions.

If you are rotten from the core then that is why you would make rotten decisions and operate in ways that strokes your pride and ego over others. Although it is one thing to be this kind of person, but another to be as so while living in denial. Others could be harmed because of your denial to take responsibility.

We all make mistakes; that is part of being human. We can usually recover from making bad or poor decisions when we step up and take responsibility for our actions. On the other hand if you repeat poor decision often that is not a casual stumble, but more of a personality trait.

If you don’t attempt to correct your common problems eventually that sort of behavior becomes your core self. It becomes who you are just as your personality is who you are.

Most young men make more than their share of bad decisions. Some do so willingly out of spite or being mischievous while others because wisdom has not yet set in to do its job. It is said that God protects babies and fools. Well thanks to a forgiving God, and people as well that many of us are still living and recovering from the wild days of our youth.

If you are still a young man just know that there is still hope for you because each day you wake up you have a new opportunity to set a new slate. The person you were yesterday is not necessarily the one that you have to be on a new day, and certainly not the one you need be tomorrow.

Nearly all men began to mature in their mid-to-late thirties: even more by their forties and fifties. If per chance you are still acting foolishly by your fifties then you really have a problem because by then your ways are fairly set. “Ain’t nothing like an old fool!”

If you happen to fall into that category there is still hope, not for you, but for those of whom you may be in contact. The hope is that you will dismiss yourself from them so they would not need to rely upon you, one proven to be highly unreliable.

It is one thing to take yourself down in the gutter, but why take others down with you? Spare your loved ones and allow them a chance to have a decent life without you being an albatross around their neck.

If you really want to be a “real man” check yourself in and get some psychological help so one day you might be able to reconnect with your loved ones and become someone that they can eventually rely upon. But until that day comes, if it comes, stay as far away from them as possible so you don’t take them down in the tullies with you.

Remember, it is one thing to make a few mistakes, but when those become your usual ways they are no longer mistakes, but instead a personality trait. If you were rotten at the core I would expect you to be a cheater, a liar, a thief, and all around bad person. “Real men” don’t behave in that sort of manner.

If you ever make a mistake and know it right away at least admit it to yourself and take full responsibility for your actions so you can at least learn from your faults. Eventually it would be nice if you were to put the welfare of your loved ones over your selfish desires.

What's up with government and leadership?

Judging by what’s going on in my town of Altadena, and even further out into the city, state, and across the entire nation, it appears that people have a very low opinions of those in leadership positions. Could it be that our form of government is no longer working as it was intended?

Nationally and even internationally, it appears that people are revolting against “the status quo” forms of government. Much of this may be because the world is facing very trying financial times. The world’s economy is sick and suffering greatly. Naturally those who are in charge of leadership are blamed for the problems we’re facing.

Take a look at the U.S. government. We are a democracy, which supposedly give the people a large say in how we are governed. But is that really true? Do “the people” actually participate in setting the laws, rules, and boundaries whereby they are governed? Apparently not! If so there would not be this much unrest.

If you had looked ahead in time from the period of the 1960s and 70s you wouldn’t have imagined how little people would be paying attention and getting involved in how they are governed in current times. Back then people rebelled against poor government to the point that the regime that was in control would be ousted if they did a poor job.

However today we are looking at more of a “me generation.” People are not as concerned about society, the public, or even the nation as much as they are about their individual gains. “What’s in it for ME.”

Because of this people in government routinely get away with very poor political decisions, at least until it hits individuals squarely in their pockets. Who cares about the poor, the needy, the helpless, the starving, and the hungry as long as it is not “me” doing the suffering? This is more of the attitude of the common people.

Think about it! If you are not currently in default with your mortgage or behind in paying most of your credit bills, or going hungry at night, just how much can you relate to those who are currently suffering?

If crime is not prevalent in your neighborhood, but instead across town how concerned are you about the crime reports? If things aren’t directly affecting you, just how much worry do you give the situation? Think about it!

We’re living in a “me generation.” Somehow we’ve lost part of the brotherhood that connected us as people. Perhaps this is due in part because current technology allows us to be more independent than in times past.

Currently we can connect to world affairs almost instantaneously concerning things that could alter our prosperity. Rather than going through intermediaries we can access information ourselves and thereby take care of our situations, with no “middle man.”

Since we’re learning to trust in our resources more than we trust in institutional resources we no longer rely upon them. This would include people in government of which we already have a very low opinion… for very good reasons.

There was a day when politicians were considered to be dirty, but we couldn’t prove it so people had to go along with their programs. However in this day everything is more transparent. It is not that leaders prefer it this way, but that current technology makes it possible for us to see things clearly as they are happening.

Where in the recent past political dirt (backdoor politics) was done in the dark, today it is done right out in the light of the media. This technological curve happened so relatively fast that people did not learn how to make the proper adjustments before their dirt was fully exposed to the public. Hence too many government officials were exposed, (caught literally with their pants down) thereby painting a bad picture of people in leadership.

Rather than ordinarily trusting in government and leadership, as was the case in the past, the “new ordinary” is to mistrust them. In fact it would be more rare to find an honest trustworthy politician these days than it would be to find a crooked one, at least by public consensus.

This is why we are becoming more of a “me generation.” We’d rather not trust the idiots we see almost daily in the media making fools of themselves.

While it’s good that we take responsibility for our actions we must be careful not to get overly involved in the “me generation.” Yes, self-preservation is a good thing, but our personal gain at the expense of others is not usually a win/win equation.

If we are to grow as a society we must make sure we do it together, not as one person at the expense of others. We need to tell the people we elected in government that this is not their show, but our lives they are abusing. In addition we need to let them know this by using the only real power we have, and that is in our right to vote them out in the next free elections.

Remember our government officials are elected or otherwise hired to do their jobs by the people and it is for the people that they should be serving. When they do a poor job we must let them know by firing them.

Our Squawk Boxes are getting louder

There was a time when we only heard chatter from those closest to us, primarily the ones in our inner circle. This could have included the people that you are in contact with at home, work, or play.

Back during the 1920’s, thirties, forties, and beyond the radio, started penetrating into one’s personal chatter space. If you had access to the radio the chatter increased beyond just one’s inner circle. You were able to hear chatter from a much wider area.

Before I get too deep into this article I need to explain what a “squawk box” is for those of you who may not be familiar with this term.

What Does Squawk Box Mean? An intercom speaker often used on brokers' trading desks in investment banks and stock brokerages. A squawk box allows a firm's analysts and traders to communicate with the firm's brokers.

We have expanded this definition to mean the inner-voice that sounds off in your head. It was limited to certain types of chatter for a while, but now I dare say the limit has been increased almost infinitely.

After the radio came another pervasive protrusion into our chatter space, which was the television. Contrary to what you might think, the television was not invented by a single inventor but instead by many people working together or alone over many years.

Henry and Faraday’s work with electromagnetism jumpstarted the era of electronic communication way back in 1831 and it has been developed and evolved ever since, although it was not until the 1900's when the term television was first used and further into the 1920’s and 30’s before it was put into full gear. Needless to say this form of intrusion into our minds and heads made the squawk even much louder.

Long before we had the television we had the telephone. Its history was just as confusing because so many inventors worked on this concept from back in the 1840 as part of the attempt to explore electronic communication. Alexander Bell and Thomas Watson may be best known for the ones that commercially brought the phone to the market.

By the middle of the 20th Century and afterward most of these electromagnetic forms of communication devices were common in the average household. At this stage our chatterboxes is literally filled from numerous sources. With time we are becoming so addicted to this connection that it is like we are tied to it as an umbilical chord.

Just when you think our space was filled beyond what we need to keep in touch with each other now we have the ability to reach worldwide and connect with almost unlimited resources. That means that our squawk boxes are getting louder than we have the space in our brains to disseminate easily. What’s next? How about a V-chip directly into your brain?

You ready for this!

The Joy of Grandparenthood

During the summer months is probably the best season for grandparents to enjoy their grandchildren. Whether for a short or long visit, these memories are indelibly etched in both the children and the adults.

If you are fortunate to live in the same general area of your extended family members it is probably a more frequent occasion. However, in this era it seems that extended families are spreading out geographically further and further for various reasons.

The really neat thing about grandchildren is how you may enjoy them fully, even to the point of burning your energy out of your tank because you know the time is only temporary. After a while they get to go back home with their parents. Because of this you may be a little more liberal with nearly everything than you were with your own children, their parents.

Recently I had a chance to keep my grandchildren for an extended stay. With my wife (Grammy) at work and my daughter back in her home packing for a move, I (Pa-Paw) was the one left most of the day with 2 little sweet grand daughters for over a week.

As a writer I am used to having my quiet space in order to develop the essays I write. Now as a columnist I have to come up with my weekly article on a specific date and turn it in to my editor.

Needless to say my grand daughters will have nothing to do with my deadlines. They want me 24-7. When their motor is running mine has to be on as well. Since they are six and four years old, theirs is running from the time they wake up until well past the time I normally turn down in the early evening these days.

Just a few weeks back I was doing hard manual labor working on improvement projects around the house. For homeowners this never seems to end. I did about 4our weeks of projects that demanded so much of my time and energies. At the end of each day I just passed out with the television watching over me.

As I have aged I find my body does not match my mental capacity, or so I thought. In other words the things that I used to do quite easily are suddenly much more difficult for me. This older body seems to tire and wear out much faster than it did, seemingly just a short while back. This is what aging does to us humans.

I just had a rude awakening about the new limitations of my aging body. Every bone and muscle was sore from the constant hard work trying to do all of my projects, which included pouring several bags of hand-mixed cement in a wheel barrrow, hours of painting, hauling dirt to the garden, and cleaning out around the home.

I thought I had figured out the new limits of this older body until I spent the entire week with my two grand daughters. I love them more than life itself, but it appears that I had also forgotten how much energy it takes to spend over ten hours a day with children that age.

You have to have your brain in full attention mode all the while and you have to constantly plan things to do all that time. You have to settle disputes ever so often, fix meals and snacks nearly every two hours, go to the park, go to Mac Ds,’ explain things that you don’t really know (make up stuff) and a few more surprises that you didn’t plan. With children you never quite know what to expect.

I thought I was tired at the end of a full working day around the home, but at the end of the day with my two grandchildren I was ready to go back to the physical manual labor. My sweet two grand daughters wore me out in ways that I didn’t realize could be worn out.

I remember raising our daughter (Mr. Mom) when she was a child as my wife continued to work full time. Somehow I managed to raise her as the primary home-based parent because that is just how things worked out.

What I forgot was the fact that I was nearly 20 years younger then and I had sufficient energy to do what was necessary to keep up with a young child, plus it was only one child back then.

One little girl, twenty years younger, compared to two little girls and this body twenty years older. Now I know why God made us fruitful while we were young and less fruitful when we are older. You earn the right to be grand parents. You can enjoy them fully when they visit but after a while they go back home with their parents so you can recuperate.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife, my family, my kids, and my lovely grandkids, but now I can really respect what the generation before me did. Before I was a parent I did not know what they sacrificed and what their role really meant. When I became a parent I learned full well what my parents went through.

Before I was a grand parent I did not know what my parents had gone through as usually we sent our daughter for an extended visit over the summer vacation. Although my mother never complained, I am sure when that summer was over she relished a quiet home and a long, hot bath for a few months afterward.

What a joy it is to be a grandparent. When your grandchildren can come and visit for a short while you can just love every piece of them as you give their parents a break from the kid(s).

Now my mother and mother-in-law are in their 80s. They are the great-grandmothers. They have paid their dues. They can sit back, relax, and look down the line at the many generations under them knowing what all are going through as they smile and sip on their nice cool lemonade in their comfortable rocking chair. One day that will be me.

Life just constantly unfolds just as a rose bud opens its pedals revealing what comes next.

What a joy it is to be a grandparent, but now I look forward to being a great-grandparent and watching what all the newer generations go through as I smile with wisdom.

What are you made of?

If I cut you with a knife you would bleed blood simply because that is part of what you are made of. Without blood we would surely die. Besides that, if I cut you, I would be in serious trouble because that would be a crime. The point being, what is in you comes out of you when exposed.

High-ranking political leaders that show evidence of very poor character and integrity seriously trouble me. They are in positions of public trust. We elect them into office to serve us and look out for our welfare. They actually take an oath of office to serve us with the highest of integrity.

When someone cheats as in marital infidelity whether on an irregular or a regular basis I have an issue with that. It is not like there was one slip when they were caught in the heat of the moment and made a poor judgment, but in many cases these are ongoing affairs. That shows a personality trait. You are a cheater and that is your nature. You lie to cover your fault.

Am I to trust someone to create laws and vote on issues of public welfare when they cheat on the ones nearest and dearest to them? When you cheat on your spouse you do the same with your children and all the extended family members. You lie and you put on a false front in order to practice your deceit. I have a problem with that!

I realize that people make mistakes and I do believe in forgiveness and restitution. We are all imperfect creatures because of our basic human nature. In fact it takes a lot of discipline and self-control in order to stay within the boundaries established by society.

Weiner is just another fallen leader of a long line of men that has taken this route. It happened to the President of our nation as well and our past governor. It happens to the top sports stars, movie and entertainment stars and yes, to ordinary citizens as well.

Such things happen much more than we are aware f, but the high-profile ones we see in the news are only those who get caught. The larger percentage are those that never get caught so statistically we will never know just how deep the problem may be.

Usually when these incidents leave the front page of the daily news shows and periodicals we tend to forget about them. Ask Tiger Woods, Clinton, Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, and the list goes on and on. Such behavior seems to be so common that we almost accept it as the “new norm.”

When people cheat they expose a character fault. It is something that they ultimately can’t completely control. They are attracted to something and either cannot or do not resist the temptation.

Most of us face temptations from a number of things but we don’t all fall prey or give in to them. Many love illegal drugs, too much chocolate, alcohol, sex with multiple partners, and other things that we know we should not do but we must rely upon self-control to keep us from falling victims to such things.

Those who fall, and fall often, have a problem and should seek counseling or psychiatric help. They should not be in a high office of public trust while they are seeking the help they need because they have trust issues.

When you are in the public eye you are heavily scrutinized. Things that others may get away with are not things that public figures can easily get away with simply because of the additional public pressure.

If you have a problem with a moral issue or with your integrity might I suggest that you do not seek a high profile public position. Such positions are and should be held to a higher standard because you are dealing with public trust. You can’t have your cake and eat it too…not in this case.

We might forgive you as a human being but not as one chosen to deal with our welfare. You can’t hold a higher office and stoop that low and so obviously displaying very poor character choices. Go back to your common ordinary life and build yourself back up to a position that we can trust and then we might give you a second chance. But even then you would still be scarred.

I understand the challenge of human nature. I understand the lure of things that are apparently irresistible. But I also understand that not all people are qualified to fill certain positions. If you have a problem with trust issues simply do not put yourself in a position where people need to depend upon you.

If you are a jerk, do so on your own dime, not ours!

Memorial Day Celebration

Unless you were in a war or had friends or relatives that fought or died in a war, chances are that you don’t have as much connection with this holiday as many others. In this country it is a very special day of remembrance for those who died in our nation’s service.

On this day many Americans visit the grave sites of the departed and decorate it with flowers, a reef, or flag in order to give tribute for the ultimate sacrifice paid by our many service members.

We should truly honor them greatly because it was because of their ultimate sacrifice that allows us to enjoy the great democracy and freedom we have here in America. There is no greater gift one person can give than their life for the benefit of others.

Typically we take this day as the first unofficial day of summer kicking off a more laid back time of year for start of the vacation season, a time away from school, work, and summer activities.

Like most holidays the real meaning behind them has been lost in the shuffle as people just look forward to an extended holiday weekend.

This holiday, formally known as Decoration Day, as in decorating the grave sites, was first enacted to honor Union and Confederate soldiers following the American Civil war but was extended after World War I to honor Americans who have died in all wars.

It also was extended to incorporate ordinary people visiting the grave sites of deceased relatives regardless of their affiliation with the military. It is a day of remembrance of the departed.

The spirit of the holiday is one that is somewhat somber, but as in most holidays we treat it as a long weekend devoted to gatherings of friends and family, shopping, fireworks, trips to the beach, and popular sports activities.

For those of you who are still holding down the workforce, enjoy the holiday but at least silently remember the many service men and women that gave their lives that you might be able to enjoy the lives you are currently living.

God Bless America and all those service people that died so we may enjoy this great country.

Let's Talk Economy?

Make no bones about it; everyone is feeling the pinch with our current economy. Everyone that purchases consumer goods is being financially squeezed more today than in recent memory.

How do we manage to merely survive through times such as this?

It is not so much that the majority of people are at a point of desperation, but more that the case of hearing about how bad things are constantly being heard on a daily basis through the media.

Yes, the cost of many of our consumer goods and products have gone up substantially, but this simply means that most of us just can’t afford to use our previously-discretionary funds as fluently as before. People want what they want and many refuse to cut back until and unless they are forced to do so, and only when absolutely necessary.

Certainly there are people who have already reached the point of despair because of this economy, but right now they seemingly do not make up the majority of the population.

When you hear about 10% unemployment rate, that is speaking about those who are in the job market, the ones that really desire to work.

On the other hand, in looking at the overall picture, another economic category is those who are at, or below the poverty level. Even though the poor feel the pinch just the same as everyone, most did not have those discretionary funds to began with, so to them life remains statistically about the same, except for having even less than they had before. Their struggle just becomes deeper, but not that much newer.

The upper lower-to-middle-income earner is where the pinch is perhaps felt the most. The cost of nearly everything they were purchasing before such as gas, food and clothing went up, yet their incomes has not. Now they have substantially less funds to spread around to cover even their basic necessities.

Since so many people in general seem to have so accustomed to modern conveniences such as cell phones, cable television, Internet access, and other things, giving them up or cutting back is not something that most are willing to consider, at least not at this point.

Although we grumble about how tough things are, most have not reached the point where they are willing to cut back or give up on their conveniences.

If their situation was really in the tanks you would see fewer people with cell phones, more under-fed, seeking financial assistance, homes being lost to the banks, and even fewer cars on the roadways. So far we are not seeing a drastic change in our habits.

Imagine; if people really wanted to better survive this poor economy there are things they could be doing right now even though it would require tightening up one's belt.

Rather than waiting until the cupboards are completely bare they could start being more conservative with their usage of things. They could really think about the things they do that are wasteful.

Many run the water much too long before getting in the shower. We run the dishwater too long while doing the dishes. We eat more food that our bodies need in order to be satisfied. We have gotten too accustomed to having too much of things we really don’t need.

What would happen if more people started using public transportation and really taking a pinch out of the gas cartels? God forbid if those who smoke cigarettes would quit smoking and stop wasting that money. How about if we did not super-size our meals as a habit?

If you really gave it serious thought I would bet you could find dozens of ways to trim back on things that are not absolutely necessary. Some of these things are probably purely wasteful.

Yes, the economy is bad, but we are the ones that helped drive it into its current situation by our poor spending habits, gluttony, and wasteful spending. I would bet that if society became more thoughtful and conservative with their spending habits our economy wouldn’t appear to be as bleak as it currently is revealed in the media.

Tighten up your belt straps before you are forced to do so and things will work out just fine.

When is enough really enough

For months, maybe years by now, we have watched starlet bad boys and bad girls treat their celebrity status as a trump card to do whatever they want or act any way they choose at our expense.

Apparently they don’t get the fact that it is the fans that motors their success. If people suddenly stop purchasing their offering they would quickly see what it feels like to be normal or, even worse, a “has been.”

I am particularly tired of the media giving a megaphone to Charlie Sheen to parade his sickness. To just look at him you can clearly see that he has some sort of problem, most likely substance abuse. People are trying to say that this is his brand of humor, but there is nothing funny about his behavior or the things he is portraying.

If he wants to be a playboy with wild drug or sex parties, let him do so in his own world. But do we really need to give him a platform in our homes almost daily through the media to showcase his madness?

Why would a major network put up with such shenanigans for such a long period of time before they eventually come to their senses and cut him loose? It’s simple! He brings big revenue into the network, because the general public will avidly read and devour anything set before them!

I understand economy 101, but at a point don't morals, bad messages, signals, or lessons; or the way he is personally impacting others, especially vulnerable children, count? Is money the only God that we are to respect in this case? I think not!

This is a very strange generation that we are facing. We have dropped the bar so low that even an earthworm could get over it with ease. Almost anything goes!

I thought I could be a liberal and just let people to their own thing, but unless I am willing to cut off all my media resources I cannot get away from those that wish to impose and expose their wickedness upon me.

I suppose I could just shut up and allow others the freedom to be themselves, but in this case I have had enough! Since I too have a small megaphone I wish to make my voice heard even though it may come across as a mere whisper coming out of a vast desert.

COME ON, FOLKS… THAT’S ENOUGH! Turn off his megaphone and allow this man an opportunity to get the help he needs. Certainly he does not have the will power to turn it off for himself. He is sick and more than likely being controlled by something unnatural, if nothing other than just his own alter ego.

I am waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy past having enough.

Enough is really enough already! My late Grandmother-in-Law frequently said:

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, AND TOO MUCH IS GOOD FOR NOTHING!"

What do people want most?

I suppose you could argue that people want to live, but how would you substantiate those that commit suicide? You could say that they want peace, but what about those that thrive upon hostility? We could say they want to believe in a Creator, but that isn’t true either. Is there anything that all people want?

Apparently what people want most is to achieve their personal ambitions. If you agree with them you are on their side, but if you don’t, you are then their adversary. It appears that nationally we are noticing this very harsh discourse, but as we focus our attention on our local community we see a similar sharp dissent as well.

Apparently no matter what the issue may be there are people that oppose what is offered. Those who oppose something will usually let you know how much they are against the proposal very vocally. In other words, no one has exclusivity on how things should be run in our town. This is just how people are.

When it comes to what is best for your town, who can truthfully say they know what is best for the citizens? No one can totally do that. No matter what suggestion or issue is proposed, most assuredly someone will disagree. This is a reality we need to accept.

One person mentioned the term civility in reference to this public discourse, which is basically politeness or courtesy. You might think that we would all seek to be polite or courteous, but that is definitely not the case. Some do not prefer civility as a means of handling disputes. Are they wrong for deciding to take such a posture?

In their mind, no, but in the mind of people that practice civility, yes. Again, this is just how people are. Very rarely, if ever, will all the people agree with each other on all accounts. That is an awareness point we must learn to accept. From there perhaps each can leave room for the other to totally express their views as they wish without taking it personally, to heart, considering it as an attack on them.

No matter what the intent of things proposed for our community there will be those who will take issue with it. At the same time there will be others who agree. This is something we must learn to both expect and accept without prejudices. The fact that people are willing to discuss important and relevant issues is a good thing. In order to find remedies to important and relevant issues discussion is needed.

Although the intent, in my mind, is never to cause harm or havoc within the community that may not be how my articles are received. Anyone who speaks out must realize that others won’t always agree with their offering, neither will they always be civil about how they disagree. It is simply how people are; to expect otherwise would be futile.

The good news here for those who really want to see positive change and growth in the community is that we are able to see how huge the gap is between certain factions. Then we will know how long a bridge we will need to build in order to bring the sides closer.

In learning how to solve problems the first step is to realize there is one, then you must analyze it, see what your options are, and then come up with possible solutions. We are learning about step one, which is that we have differences, so now we need to learn how to get to step two and continue toward finding solutions.

For those who have issues with the Sheriff’s office, the Town Council, the school system, street gangs, criminals, noise pollution, graffiti, religious organizations, child care, senior care, or any issue for which there is concern, just realize that, just as you have a stand or an opinion, others do likewise. Some try to practice civility when possible, but that is not always the case; that too is part of our human nature

Knowing this and accepting it as fact should lower the stress that comes with being opposed. To each their own: that is how our democracy works. This is the American way. If you don’t like this system I suppose you can move to another country, but once you see how others solve their differences you might want to come back to America.

Thanks for all your passionate comments and opinions about the issues we face as a community. It would be nice if we could learn how to get along, but if you disagree you have a right to do so and it shouldn’t be taken personally. For those of you that practice civility please realize that it may not be reciprocated. Not all people are alike.

So in the future as contemplative issues are brought to your attention please know that it is okay that you disagree with them. After all, this is a democracy and we are therefore free to state our opinions and/or take issues with things we don’t accept as well.

Perhaps what most people want is to be free to be themselves, no matter how kooky that may appear to others. In a perfect world that may work fine but when what you want interferes with the wants of others it may cause a problem. Therefore it is best to simply learn how to get along with them as best possible, and also how to be yourself in that setting.

Just more "stuff" to think about...

The Homeless Man Ordeal

A homeless man with a golden voice was discovered by a news agency. His video was mounted on the Internet that sparked a “media frenzy.”

By now most have heard of the homeless man with the golden voice. Mr. Ted Williams was once a family man with a promising career that found hard times because of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. Eventually he found himself on skid row because of this. His recent emergence is a testament to many things that are worth taking heed.

Imagine one day you are on the street corner begging for spare change to fulfill your next fix and in the next few days you are a media sensation. The human mind doesn’t normally make such rapid transformations. The regimens and habits this man established over a period of years became etched into his being. In order for him to become a “new person” he would need to establish new habits and regimens. This doesn’t usually happen overnight.

Unfortunately Mr. Williams is just another profitable news sensation in the hands of the media useful to boost their ratings. It is not just the morning news but the late night shows as well. In addition there were several advertising agencies that booked him as a voice-over artist to sell certain commercial products. This sounds like a classic rags-to-riches story.

What lessons are we to take from this dazzling event? There are several positive ones and some that are not as flattering. Greed and selfish ambitions may also come into view but let’s first start with the positive points.

To take a person off the street and make them a media sensation could be a positive benefit. However, if the concern is for the individual rather than what the individual offers it is like giving them a chance to become successful, a chance they might not have otherwise had.

Looking at the brighter side, if this individual could be made whole and cured of his past demons this would be a great testimony for countless people that are now on skid row. Since we are only days into this happening it is too early to tell if anything has been done to cure the man as they continue to thrust him out into the public arena.

One would hope that someone or some entity is genuinely looking out for this person above what he is currently providing as a media sensation. If not, then once the bright lights fade, then so shall the man.

In a sense this is like having a boxing bear. People are fascinated by how a bear could mimic the human-like talent of boxing in the ring with a person, but when the bear is not on stage performing he is locked back in a cage as the non-human bear he really is.

In other words the bear is merely a showpiece to his owners. If the bear suddenly got sick or was unable to perform his tricks he would return to being just another bear in a cage. The concern for Williams is about what will happen when his star fades.

Take the fact that you have a person that was poor and homeless and turned their fortune into one with money and the ability to purchase a home. That is definitely a positive causation, but again, if the person is not altered in their internal and/or mental operations it is like giving costly pearls to swine. Unless you are willing to fix the person first, adding material things to them does not change what they are.

As we look deeper we find this person to have children, an ex-wife, and a mother still living. From out of the gutters this man has been reconnected to the life and people he left behind years back. Most of his family members were aware of why he disappeared in the first place. Obviously they may be a bit leery of his return. The mother asked that he not let her down once again. I’m sure she has heard it all before from her addict-son.

His children and ex-wife were less trusting because he let them down once before. The verdict is still out as to what he will do this time. Once a trust has been broken it is hard to recapture the same feeling again. Any past friends or business associates would be equally pessimistic. The onus is on Mr. Williams to prove that he is trustworthy. What will he do with this new opportunity?

Now let’s look at the other side of this story. Who is it that truly benefits here? All the media entities that covered his story have already benefited. Having him on their shows boosted their ratings and attracted audiences that may not have watched their show otherwise. Viewer attraction naturally means money and an opportunity to sell products and ads for businesses. In essence this man made money for a lot of people. Since most of the recipients were the studios and corporations, you be the judge as to the true benefactor.

Taking all this into consideration what is the final figure? Is there more good than bad? Are there more winners than losers? Haven’t we showed that we can all be touched when one of us is given a second chance? Even though the usual suspects are thoroughly in this story there is also a side of our humanity showing its underbelly. We care about each other and would like to see each do well.

What if you were the one on the street and someone gave you a second chance? Perhaps that cold uncompassionate side of us, the human race, thawed out just a fraction? Perhaps we are more internally connected than we would like to believe? Think about it!

People Power

One of the strongest forces known to man is that of people power. This is accomplished when several join forces in order to accomplish a common good.

Imagine the power of a rushing stream after a fierce thunderstorm. It becomes a mighty powerful force only because of the numbers of individual drops of water that join forces. Just a few drops of water are almost powerless, but when many come together they can create a force that can destroy almost anything in its path.

If people were to join forces they would have even more power than mere water because water can’t think for itself. Water just follows the path of least resistance. Because of this its power is usually unpredictable.

On the other hand people have the ability to decide exactly where they wish to exercise their power. They can intensify it upon an exact spot of concentration.

Imagine what interested people could do to eradicate world hunger if they applied the power of the people in substantial numbers. Imagine what dent could be made in bringing families, towns, or even cities out of poverty if people would unite. In fact out of most of the world’s major problems there are only a few that would be able to stand against the power of the people once they become united.

Why do nations form armies? It is because just a few soldiers cannot affectively protect a nation, but an army of solders makes a strong wall of defense or offense in order to protect a nation. If people can be assembled into just as powerful a force, but for purposes of waging war, couldn’t they be just as powerful when fighting for the common good?

If a town or city is plagued with crime it is usually because a very small percentage of the actual population creates havoc on the greater majority of the people. Why should such a minority have that much power against the majority? It is because people don’t unite and use their power.

Take any city or town where the crime rate is extremely high. My hometown of Memphis Tennessee has one of the highest crime rates in the nation. I am almost certain that there are more law-abiding citizens living in Memphis than there are law-breakers.

Criminals will band together if necessary in order to perform their crimes because they realize the power in numbers. They will frequently form a team so each member can add to the strength of the group. When people band together they become very affective, whether the reason is good or evil. It is strange that more people don’t come together for noble purposes rather than those selfish ones that are strictly for selfish profit.

War historians study past wars to find the secrets to successful war campaigns. Apparently the ones that were best united were the ones that were most successful. Great generals and warlords were able to unify their armies forming a solid wall, even when they were fighting against larger opponents. It is not always the quantity of people, but most times the quality of their unity that creates the power.

Understanding this to be factual why don’t more people join forces in order to achieve the common good? The main culprit seems to be our human nature. With it we have volition. We have the ability to go against (choose) what would appear to be the common good. We have the ability to do things that we know are harmful and do so maliciously, if we choose.

Our human nature comes with a double edge of opposite extremes. Unless we make the choice to intentionally “do good” we are vulnerable to our darker side. Just as water can be used to achieve the most incredible positive purposes, it can also become one of the most destructive forces. It is not the H2O that makes the determination, but how it is used. Likewise it is not the nature of humans that is the problem, but how they are used both mentally and physically.

Take the power of the tongue as an example. With this tiny body part one can curse people or bless them. The same tongue can do both. It is not the tongue, but how one uses it. How it is used determines the nature of its power.

It is the same about people. Their power is determined by how they chose to use it. They may form an army to conquer the world or they can form an army to defeat world hunger. The power is characterized by how it is used.

Isn’t it about time for us to realize just how much un-actualized power we have? This power is one of the strongest forces known to man. When we decide to join forces is when we will evolve to our higher potential. If we wanted to do so as soon as tomorrow we could make that happen. The power is in our hands right now. It’s the power of the people.

Real men don't cry

Well, the long and the short of this title should be adjusted accordingly: “That’s a lie!” Grown men do cry. Even “real grown men” cry, but most would just rather you not see that happen, or not do it out in public among relative strangers.

Because of our upbringing most men fight real hard to hold back tears even when it may be appropriate to let them flow. The loss of a loved one, close friend, or even an associate can bring us to tears. Even attending the funeral of those that are not necessarily that close to us can make us cry when we feel the sorrow of others in their mourning.

In the dark of a movie theater you will find many grown men shedding tears shielded by the darkness of the room. Why, heck, the older I get the more vulnerable I seem to be and freer to shed a tear or two.

At this stage of life I no longer feel ashamed about shedding tears. It makes me feel more human. Holding back legitimate tears makes me feel less human. 'Fessing up to tears welling up is another subject. Our foolish male pride still tells us that real men don’t cry. For some reason it continues to look strange to see a grown man cry in public. That’s not the case for females or children.

On several occasions the newly elected Speaker of the House, John Boehner, has cried in public. He cried at his acceptance speech for winning the election and cried again in an interview with Leslie Stahl of CBS 60-Minutes news show while talking about him crying on election night. Apparently this new Speaker will also be known as the “Weeper” of the House. I know men do cry, but at one point it appears to go a bit overboard. From the public comments so far not everyone seems to be holding it against him.

Crying has ended several political aspirations, as was the case of Ed Muskie attempting to defend his wife back in 1972. This incident was attributed as the cause of his losing the election. Over the past decade men have been detected while crying in public, including all the past presidents since Reagan up to and including our current President, Barack Obama, crying over the loss of his grandmother. Apparently “real men” can cry in public, but it is usually for a very good and specific reason where the public can sympathize with them.

Human beings cry as a response to an emotional state. There is an actual connection between the tear duct (lachrymal gland) and those areas of the human brain involved with processing emotions: that is a normal function of the human body. Both males and females come equipped with this function.

Perhaps females reveal more emotions than males on average. It is socially acceptable for women and children to cry in public, but less acceptable for men to show their emotions outwardly. For most men it’s a matter of “mind over emotions,” similarly to the concept of “mind over matter.” The urge is there, but the mind tells them not to let it show.

Where does the pressure come from that compel most males not to cry in public? Unfortunately pride seems to be the main culprit. Pride is a high sense of one’s personal status, ego, or importance. It may be an inordinate opinion of one’s merit or dignity. It is mostly our personal opinion of the self, not necessarily something that is based upon facts or supported by physicality. It exists mostly in the mind of the beholder.

If males think crying makes them appear to be less of a man they would rather not do things that make them appear to be a “weakling.” In this case they are more concerned about how others view them rather than something they might do to them physically. This is caused by our over-inflated pride.

The bottom line is that men do cry. It is part of our human function. The fact that it is less acceptable for men to cry in public is a perception that we must deal with as well. People will do really foolish things in order to keep certain secrets they do not want publicly exposed, even including suicide.

As far as the new Speaker of the House is concerned, if he cries because he didn’t get the particular vote that he expected I would worry about him, but when his emotions get the better of him while expressing emotional things, that is something we might have to get used to seeing in public. After all, he is human like the rest of us.

Sins of The Father

When you speak about things such as generational curses it is hard for someone who hasn’t been touched by it to conceive what it could possibly mean. How can the sins of a father transfer to an innocent child who was not responsible for the acts and deeds that happened, maybe before they came into the world? Such borders the mystic, strange, or the Gnostic.

Just recently the son of Bernard Madoff hanged himself by a dog lease in his apartment as his two-year old child slept in another room in the home. One could only imagine what would cause an intelligent person to commit such an act with the child in the home. Unfortunately incidents such as this are not rare.

Apparently three generations will be adversely touched by the sins of this father so far. Who knows how far this stain will remain on the family’s ledger? The egregious acts of this father have already stained many… possibly for generations to come.

How does one account for such a travesty? You feel bad for the innocent ones who had no hand in the act and yet their lives are so adversely affected by the happening.

Besides, and perhaps before the family members of the perpetrator, you have the individuals who were the actual victims of the crime along with their family, friends and associates. Their lives were directly impacted by the acts. Not only are the sins of the father an infliction, who knows how many others may be impacted in some fashion?

Is there any rationale for such? Is there any justification for those involved?

One thing we all can learn as bystanders is the danger of wrongful behaviors. With each action there is always a reaction, and with each cause an effect. How far and how deep the effect may dig is not within the hands of the perpetuator. That would be up to the LAW. The only option we have is the choice not to make the cause. Once it is made the consequences follow as the universe compels them.

It is said that we should be impeccable with all energies that emit from our beings. This includes our acts, deeds, thoughts, and spoken words. It also includes our wishes, desires, hopes, dreams and the like. In essence we are like a processing plant creating things which intern produces more of its likeness.

That would imply that as we are living and going about life we are actually co-creating it. We are causing things to happen that causes other things to happen so we are co-creators of life while in it.

Obviously many do so without thinking about what they are doing so therefore they may be careless with certain actions. Even without the intent to cause harm an action may still cause a harmful reaction so the act of carelessness would have been the fault. On the other hand when you are impeccable with your acts and deeds and still make errors such goes beyond the scope of our control. However it would seem to put you on the positive side of the cause and effect equation.

Keeping these generalities in mind one could only do their best in any given situation and accept the consequences beyond that point. It is dangerous enough when one is unaware of harmful energies that they emit, but to do so with malicious intent crosses another line of the universe where consequences are more severe. It would be prudent not to cross such lines even suspecting the possibility of facing such consequences. Everything that comes from you will be accounted for eventually.

Regarding the sins of a father, we may feel bad for the apparently innocent victims but with the same law that appears to be unjust on this side of the equation, it’s reciprocal works the opposite on the other side with utter perfection.

Nothing goes unpaid; every ounce is accounted for, and to each will come what is due. Fear not! Your finite mind was not built to hold what is infinite; it does not have the capacity to do so. This also implies that the finish line does not happen with death of our bodies, but in another realm where the end substantiates the beginning and all is eventually made whole. Every soul will get there. Be impeccable in all you do.

I think I get it now...

It was always confusing to me in trying to understand the apparent inconsistencies in human behavior. Even though we are physically similar, our mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects make us so dramatically different.

Think about the vast differences between a mass murderer and a nun. Other than being two living and breathing human beings, just how similar are these two individuals?

How about a bank robber and a bank teller? What about a drug dealer and a drug addict? How about a soldier of war and a street thug killer? How are these humans similar and what part makes them totally different?

From an outward perspective we recognize each other’s human element. Unlike zebras or tigers that recognize each other’s markings, we see only a surface that differentiates us from other mammals. We recognize our human aspect, but other than that we know very little.

Because we are so wonderfully made yet so imperfectly assimilated our physical appearance tells us very little about the real person inside the human facade. A thief could look like a saint and a military hero could look like a mass murderer.

Judging a person merely by their image tells us only so much about them, but reading and delving into a person’s character can tell you more about the real person inside that shell. Realizing this to be a fact all we would need to do is learn how to read someone’s character.

Unfortunately many people know how to cover up what they don’t want you to know. Take, for example, intimate relationships that end up in marriage: just how much do couples really know about each other before they tie the knot?

The reason behind so many failing marriages is because certain vital information was concealed from the other party. Once this information was revealed the couple found out just how incompatible they were in the first place. Because of this, learning to read character could save so much time and heartache for countless people.

Obviously there are people that go to school to learn how to read behind the façade, but even they are not perfect. One simple way to read into people is to follow your hunches. You get a sense of people almost from the beginning, but most are willing to ignore this sixth sense in order to acquire what’s behind door number two.

Some are so eager to find a mate, a close friend, or to get close to others that they ignore what their sixth sense tells them. This is similar to the secret of a good magician. They intentionally convince you that you are seeing something that in reality, you are not!

In order to read another's character you have to decide in advance to look beyond the facade, or what your eyes reveal to you. By doing this, your mind opens interior eyes that are not just attached to the sight, but much deeper to the heart-sensor as well.

You sense character through the heart rather than the eyes. It is feeling something that is unseen, which is the essence of the spiritual and emotional charkas. It is a knowing beyond conscious awareness.

The problem most have is our willingness to accept what is seen rather than probe more deeply into the unseen, which is the real person inside the shell. Their character is their soul. The soul cannot lie because it is the total essence of the person beyond their physical characteristics and attributes.

It is said that the eyes open a window to the soul of a person. If you are contemplating adding someone into your inner circle, such as in an intimate relationship, look into their eyes without speech or preconception and see what is revealed from their soul.

Stop looking at what you want to see and feel what you sense instead. We all have this ability, but many choose not to use it. In understanding the apparent inconsistencies of human behavior try using your sixth sense rather than what the eyes reveal. When you sense something don’t ignore it in order to acquire the storefront dressings.

I think I get this now…you have to want IT first. Not what you hope for, but what’s really there.

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes

ALTADENA – Have you ever wondered why there seems to be so much chaos, conflict and confusion in the world?

In truth there are so many mini-worlds in the entire world. People can live and die in a relatively close in proximity and never know each other. In order to get to know people there must first be a desire to do so or, secondly, something that causes your paths to coincide.

Think about how many different shoes you pass by daily. We have our leaders, the clergy, law enforcement, business owners, educational community, the banking community, real estate services, child care facilities; senior citizen care and services, neighborhood associations, the military, healthcare providers, builders, craftsmen, farmers, public roads and highway services, the Chamber of Commerce, public services, communication services, entertainment professionals, and on and on. This doesn’t include some of the negative distinctions such perverts, criminals, or derelicts.

In your community alone there are so many different walks of life on so many levels of the spectrum. You might wonder why there isn’t more unity among people, the causative reason being that we all walk in so many different paths that chances are that we may never walk a mile in each other’s shoes.

Not that long ago I could not figure out why more people couldn’t learn to get along better and live in amity and harmony. One of the reasons may be because of the invisible walls that partition us. I don’t think much of this is intentional, at least not any longer. It’s more in the way we have grown accustomed to living. We are so focused upon our own activities that we pay little attention to the world of others.

Then along the way came a spider. Well, actually, along the way came technology. We are connected in ways like never before. We can literally reach into each other’s space quite easily these days. We may choose to be extremely connected with a huge network of people if we so desire. We are finding out what it’s like walking in another's shoes, perhaps more than we’d like.

It’s not that hard to reach out and touch others these days. However, one of the main factors to consider is personally exposing yourself as you step into the world of others. With smart phones you can point, shoot, and upload into the media. The problem we have so far is learning how to act with this much unbounded freedom. We will need to redefine the rules of this new game.

Because we are able to peek into the lives of so many people it seems as though we know people when we really don’t. We see Obama in the news so much that we think we know him. How about Oprah, Sarah Palin, Kobe Bryant, or your local news personalities? We peek into the lives of these people so often that it appears we know them. In truth you have no idea of what it is like to really walk a mile in their shoes.

Where is all this transparency leading us? For one, I think once we get used to the extra exposure we might possibly become more humane. Perhaps we will become more compassionate with each other as we realize the price of walking in someone else’s shoes.

We just might learn that being rich and famous comes with a price and that being less fortunate financially is not as bad as one might think as long as there is love in the picture.

In truth we don’t know what it is like walking in many of our fellow human being’s shoes but suffice to say that with each walk we'll discover there is a load to carry. It may not be exactly what you imagine.

Might I suggest that before you get so carried away with walking in the shoes of others that you spend an ample or even equal amount of time perfecting your own walk in your own shoes! Before you criticize the lives of others make sure your life is worthy. Learn how to walk a good mile in your own shoes before you try to take on the load of others.

Keep it fresh

The fact that we are suffering through a miserable economy is not news. We’ve been in this mode for over five years now and counting. At times such as this it seems as though we’re going through a lunar eclipse that casts darkness over the entire planet. In this case the darkness is the gloom that is being felt worldwide.

This is not the first time we have experienced such despair. This is not even the worst financial depression the world has faced. Although very few of us were around during the Great Depression of the 1930s, what we’re currently experiencing would have been a joy compared to what they faced.

How do you remain positive when there are so many people and things around you suffering? Most of us know of someone who has lost a job or home or even worse. If you don’t know them personally all you need to do is turn on the news or read the periodicals. When gloom is this pervasive it reaches nearly everyone in some shape or form.

One thing to consider, if or when you are filled to the brim with gloom, is to reduce the amount of negativity that you allow to penetrate your mind. Your mind has an almost unlimited capacity for storage, yet the things that we allow to dominate or proliferate in it takes the full spotlight. It’s like one rotten apple that spoils an entire barrel of good ones.

Perhaps I’m doing myself a disservice as a columnist, but I would strongly suggest that you turn off the news and discard the periodicals that constantly fill your mind with negativity. Instead, find ways to feed the mind with positive things.

Imagine that your mind is a cup. A cup has only a maximum amount of liquids that it may hold. In your cup you may put in muddy unclean water or you may put in mountain-fresh water. If you think of putting just a teaspoon in your cup per day for forty-eight days, your cup would be full of muddy water. The same would be true if you put forty-eight teaspoons of pure, clean water in the cup, it would be full.

Using this analogy why would you constantly put garbage in your mind daily? If you are feeling gloomy perhaps you are “full of it.” Why not instead make a more desirable choice to feed or otherwise fill the mind with wholesome positive thoughts and ideas.

Think about what you are feeding your mind. Are you watching too much television? Do you spend too much time gossiping or socializing through the net? Do you spend too much time around negative people that constantly have bad news to pour into your cup? Until you make an accounting of what you are putting in your cup (mind) you will not do anything to change your current status.

Keeping it fresh means intentionally going out in life and choosing what goes into your mind. Even though you cannot avoid the negativity of life, you don’t have to swim in it. As they say, “birds may fly over your head daily, but you don’t have to allow them to land on your head and build a nest.” You must be in control over your mind.

Go out and take a walk in the woods, in the park, along the beach, through the neighborhood, or just sit silently and quietly on a clear day and gaze at nature. You may also do it in the rain or snow. Find a way to flush out the garbage with which you have been gorging your mind. Consider meeting new friends if your old ones insist upon filling you with muddy water. You don’t need to be rude to them, simply find a way that no longer permits them to "dump" on you.

Change the way you look. Color or cut your hair, if you still have some. Wear a different color than usual. Grow a mustache, beard, or cut off the one you have. Do anything to create a new image of the person you would like to become. Find ways to keep life fresh and new rather than dull and boring. If you are in a rut, exit it - fast! Part of that is a clear and intentional choice.

Part of the problem or the soultion

Although there's no justification, when we go out and enjoy our action-filled violent movies, what price are we paying for it with our souls? I must admit that I enjoy an action-filled movie, but I’m beginning to query myself about that enjoyment. Is it the acts of violence themselves that I enjoy or simply the thrill of witnessing graphically violent imagery?

Lately some of the really gory movies have been making me sick to the stomach. Movies specifically about killing victims in the most horrific ways have ceased to be entertaining to me. When nearly everyone in the plot dies so gruesomely and there is no message of redemption you wonder why are we watching such movies and calling it "entertainment"?

What message is the movie industry sending us? Better still, what messages are we, in turn, sending to the movie producers? Their bottom line is making money for the producers, so when they produce those bloody violent movies they do so with the understanding of what’s most marketable. Violence sells “big time” so let’s not blame business people for delivering what the people willingly pay to see.

In the same manner violent video games are very popular among our youth. Blowing away people, making the most horrific destructive scenes and the like is the attraction. The more graphically depicted the better it sells. Do we blame the game creators for delivering to the purchasing public what they are most eager to possess?

Pornography has long been a very lucrative market. It is like a plague that seemingly focuses on those males who have a problem in dealing with their sexual appetites. It gives these men what they want to see in order to scratch an itch they can’t reach as readily or as easily in real life. Are we to blame the producers of such graphically explicit material that even involves minors when there is a market that quickly sucks up all they produce?

Wherein lies the problem? The movies and games are usually fictional, but the actual people that cater to this sort of material are real. We may cut up the films and destroy the games but the only way to eradicate the source of the problem is to eradicate the people that are carrying the problems. Since we can’t go around killing everyone that is causing the problem where is the solution?

I am part of the problem because I have either willingly and intentionally purchased or participated in the production or purchase of such product. To the degree that I have participated is the degree of blame that I shoulder.

Perhaps I should be stoned for my crime against morality, but whom could we find that would be worthy of my stoning? Let he or she who without sin cast the first stone. Make sure that their violent action in my stoning does not find making them guilty of evil as well.

As I read of the Connecticut man who was condemned to death for a night of terror inside a suburban home in which a woman was strangled and her two daughters tied to their beds, doused in gasoline and left to die in a fire, I wonder who is to blame.

These were not actors in a violent movie or game. These victims will never come back. The criminals were among the sickest of the sick. Are we not a bit culpable here?

Even though we don't condone such behavior, if we're the consumers of violence that is sold to us as entertainment, where does our appetite fit in this equation?

Until we stop being the willing consumers of violence and in essence thereby condoning it, we are part of the problem and not the solution. I am not worthy of even casting the one hundredth stone here. What about you?